This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-05-15 15:29:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Let me rest and quiet the qualms that beset, a   yearning deep within and rhapsodies that suggest but do not satisfy. Murmurings   of night birds and long gleams of sun may bring quietude and purify   longings of un-rest

Copyright © May 2006 marilyn terwilleger

Additional Notes:
Just some random thoughts.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-06-03 09:04:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Random as they are, they make good sense. Here I could use a lot of warmth along with that sun. Right now I am using Moni's puter as mine is very sick. It's going for a new mother board installation today.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Carolyn Minsker On Date: 2006-05-19 06:12:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Marilyn, I thought as long as I'm around I would look in on my friends' poems. It seemed like the decent thing to do, and I do love you all so want to give you some of my time. So let's take a look at this little poem: Longings - The title conjures a little ache, an unfed desire, sometimes our longings are even nameless, a mystery to us. The L S and soft Gs tend to be soft and soothing setting the mood nicely for the next line with continues the softness, even the Ts softened in the following line, Let me rest and quiet - the qualms that beset, a yearning deep within "quiet", "qualms" and a continuance of the lullabye-like soft mood b,y,w, th. and rhapsodies that suggest but do not satisfy. Murmurings of night birds For some reason the word "rhapsodies" lifted the mood a bit, but immediately we find we shouldn't get our hopes up, we can't quite hear the song of the night birds. and long gleams of sun may bring quietude and purify longings of un-rest "and long gleams of sun" wow. that's a beautiful picture. "and purify" I love that sunbleached freshness of sheets on the line, that this conjures. Yearning for what we can't have is bad for the heart, yearning is purified by figuring out what makes us happy and delivering it for ourselves. it's always up to us, ourselves. to look within and find what we need in life. Very lovely little poem, Marilyn. Copyright © May 2006 marilyn terwillege
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-18 23:52:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68750
Hi there Marilyn, I often wonder how do you do each moment that I log in here in TPL. I know you are always there active same as me. <smile> But...don't want to talk about the sentiment here! <smile> My longing in this site is to have those people come back....<smile> It's beyond my reach though. Anyway, I hope your qualms have been put to an end now. Let's try make those rhapsodies satisfy us once again!!! Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-05-16 23:49:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 2.00000
Marilyn, I felt this [lots] Unrest, something in the pit of the stomach. Hungry for love, not man made. Yearning for an all encompassing love. Like somethings empty hole. YOU GOT ME GOING. Meditating/sunshine......nature, bring you home. God bless, Dellena Love this poem/great job.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-16 11:09:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
I like this little poem in the way that it reads restful as the subject reflects. I like the in line rhymes of "rest and beset" and your usage of "s" soft sounds dotted all within your poem. The poem on the whole just makes me want to sigh!! nicely done!
This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2006-05-16 03:42:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
marilyn,your feeling in this poem is so much like mine in my poem "reminiscences," which you recently have critiqued.maybe thats why you had empathy for it.perhaps, this is also the reason why i had empathy for your poem.its like im the one speaking in the short, i loved your poem. thanks for posting it.this is more like an expression of how i felt for it.its well-written as it is and the words are well-chosen.more power to your writings. april
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-05-15 16:38:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mazza For a set of random thoughts, it's quite coherent and complete. We all know this state of longings that "rhapsodies ... do not satisfy," the unreachable heart of our "un-rest". I like this very much. For a poem about restlessness, it has poise, and it evokes a sense of recollectedness which is not unlike peace... ...provided, of course, one can "rest" in one's "restlessness," which I think you have achieved here. Of course the achievement is provisional: "...long gleams of sun MAY/bring quietude..." And the provisional/conditional nature of the discovery is entirely in keeping with the theme. Nice one Mazza. Best always, M. PS. The only thing I don't like is the "Just some random thoughts". If that's so important a point to make, I reckon you'd do better to work the idea into the poem ... as if it's not embedded there already!! xx
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