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This Poem was Submitted By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-18 22:10:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Your friendship brightens my day!

We met at an instant Friendship began to sprout, As time elapses We share the spirit of get-togetherness. You render a smile My life starts new each day, You share your thoughts I respond with care. Being with you Joy repletes, Healing despair Vanishing tear. My heart clings Whispering a desire How I wish to be with you everyday Because your friendship brightens my day!

Additional Notes:
My first ever written poem. Childish as it is but I was 18 when I wrote it. <smile> Won't share yours?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-06-06 11:10:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh Jordan, This is not childish at all to me. You have such a sensitive and caring heart and it shines here. You describe friendship and caring to a tee and make me feel much younger again just reading this offering. I enjoy the phrase "spirit of get-togetherness. I especially appreciate your sharing of this personal poem. Best, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-30 11:14:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
This is just simply lovely, so innocent and honest! I truly enjoyed the read. You have presented your ideas in this piece with simple language and intent. It made my heart smile, thanks so much for sharing your first written piece, sometimes the lack of experience makes the write stand out and more meaningful, for we get laiden down with all the rules and techniques and all those things that are suppose to make us masters of the pen..do they really? perhaps, perhaps not!

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-05-28 11:34:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Gee, I don't know where my first poem is, and I don't think that I have it. But I may somewhere. I'll have to dig through some piles of papers. Interesting thought that you propose is to have us put up our first writings. Yes, this poem, childish as it may appear, also has a tone of maturity. I wonder if you still have this same friend. Is it male or female? Not that it matters. Thanks for letting us into your life.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-05-20 18:46:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.40000
Jordon, Light hearted, sweet, innocent. Whomever you wrote it for should smile! Sounds like 'love'. I imagine this brings back memories. Like a poetic picture of your passage of youth. It shows early your interest in writing. A born poet. Thanks for sharing..........nice Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-05-18 23:34:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Jordan....this is such a cute poem for an 18 year old. It is simple but demonstrates a longing for what I assume was a pretty girl. Being with you Joy repletes, Healing despair Vanishing tear....these lines are especially touching to me. An 18 year old often feels despair, which is sad, really. But they are always so full of emotion and passion. I used to tell my daughter she conducted her life like a one act Shakespearian play. It was not until she had a daughter of her own that she knew what I meant. Girls are the most dramatic of all teenagers but I think the boys are the most sensitive. I remember a poem I wrote when my husband was in Korea which was probably my first attempt at a serious poem. However, it is long and I am not sure where it is...if I find it I will post it...thanks for sharing yours and I hope others will do the same. Peace...Marilyn

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