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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-06-06 20:51:21 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Lavender

Under October's azure sky An opaque trail of mist does lie And touches lightly on the ground The trees of gold and all around Sweet-scented lavender abounds Within blue air, it's perfume sent From tiny blooms of violet tint

Additional Notes:
This is a little poem I wrote awhile ago, it is not in season but I submitted it anyway because it is a nature poem and they are my favorites to write.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2006-06-27 15:01:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy, It's the giving of color to smell, that I think is quite lovely in this poem; as though the air is violet in streams from the flowers. This poem would be wonderful included in a book of illustrated flowers. There's a place for all kinds of poetry. Terry

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-06-26 14:05:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
What a sweet smelling little poem! It would be hard to make even tiny changes without taking away from it. I won't offer suggestions for change, but will share with you instead, the things that come to my mind. I like the way each line counts the same number of 'beats'. Eight beats per line, seven lines. An opaue (trail) of mist....hmmmm a little hard to imagine... 'does lie" (second line) seems 'forced'. It's like when you change from normal speech to poetic speech just for the sake of rhyme. Alot of poets do it, so it can't be wrong. It's just a thought for you. Ground, around, abounds....those are good rhymes that aren't 'forced'. I love the idea of blue air--original and enticing! Sent and tint are good choices. They doen't really rhyme, but it doesn't matter, they flow so nicely as to trick the mind. At first I thought that 'sent' was spelled wrong! A cool twist. It's really very nice! I like it. I wish that I could be there in Oct to see that pleasantry! Sounds beautiful! smiles, Ellen

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-06-22 14:34:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Nancy Ann, Any time would be a good time to read this. Another wonderful poem from you. Elements of nature make a nice starting point and follow along in sync to the end. Imagery is good - I like the idea of an opaque trail of mist.......nice! I shy away from writing about nature for the most part, but I love what other people can do with it. Nothing here I could change, it reads well, and makes a nice read. sincerely, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-06-19 03:40:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Hi Nancy, This is the shortest poem so far I have read from you. So womanly in style and image! I recalled a female friend who is really fond of wearing lavender colored dresses and accessories. Thanks for this beautiful scene and smell of lavender perfume. Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-06-16 23:50:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy, 'Another lovely lilting piece. Love you rhyming. Love the subject............ Mostly love the lavender blue/and tint. I just think you could do more...longer.... This is soooooooo feminine. Great little ditty. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-06-10 14:35:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy...this is absolutely lovey and I am so glad you posted it. I love your word choices and the stunning images they create. I am partial to terse poems that say so much between the lines...this one is no exception. The rhyme is wonderful and lyrical...especially when read aloud. I do think you hit "pay dirt" with this poem...it is one of your finest. Thanks for sharing this little gem. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-06-08 14:36:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy, A very delicious read with the easy flow, gentle cadence and dancing rhyme, something very pleasant for the mind to rest in during a quiet moment of contemplation or reflextion. Thank you for such a poem of promise and memory. Lora

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