This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2006-06-11 12:10:02 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The sound of shuffling slippers heralds the familiar morning ritual. A carried wicker tray, covered in cracked mosaic tiles, Brings breakfast to a small country table. Where a woman, wife of sixty years, waits a silent smile, coy touching of hands. Both grateful for another new day. Freshly warmed bread, twisted knots of dough, flaky, sweet and soft centred Delicately ripped then dipped by walnut weathered hands into earthen bowls filled with almonds ground into an oily paste and sticky combs of sweet honey. Pungent rich coffee for him, infused fragrant mint tea for her. Curling tendrils of visible aroma rise to condense on a rustic kitchen window. Where peeling blue green paint tenaciously clings to the  crumbling wooden frame. Aged by many years of seasons. Through which,  bright morning sun bathes, rolling vista of undulating plains, ringed by distant rugged hills. Rippling spring breezes send tulips into cresting floral waves. Colours abound indistinct yet vibrant. Embodiment of the innocence of a simple life. Muscles that are starting to ache from a winters afternoon inactivity, wake me, stiffly, from another’s reality. One of brushstrokes lovingly applied with considered abandon, reckless accuracy imagined ease of virtuosity. A captured moment in an impressionists view of life. Back to my own now, hard wood bench in an overly warm centrally heated, urban gallery. My communing with a long dead artists subjects at an end. Leaving slowly with the scent of French flower fields lightening my spirits. On a grey damp Liverpool day.

Copyright © June 2006 stephen g skipper

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-07-04 21:28:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76923
Hi Steve, This is reality you have depicted in a full bloom of imageries. Life is what we make it. Surely you have a good life! I miss your presence here! Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-06-26 15:57:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Ah this is awesome! I really like your impressionistic (smile) view! Such vibrant pictures and detailed descriptions that add to the body without distracting the reader. There's a great need for that in today's poets. I thought I'd pick a favorite verse or line but I can't because I like them all! Both grateful for another new day...this line standing alone draws alot of attention, as does = Embodiment of the innocence of a simple life. (greatful) Muscles that are starting to ache from a winters afternoon inactivity, wake me, stiffly, from another’s reality. One of brushstrokes lovingly applied with considered abandon, reckless accuracy imagined ease of virtuosity. A captured moment in an impressionists view of life. I know that verse is intended to tie into the title but...well, you could omit it entirely. It steals the quaintness of the earlier verses, and doesn't 'help' the verse that follows it. Perhaps a new title would solve that dilema. I can't give you any suggestions for a new title. Still, I think it needs something with more 'depth'. We all have our own perspective; so the title doesn't call out to me. Also, I noticed that at one moment you are describing the vibrant colours of tulips, and then it is suddenly a winters day..... I don't mean to tear this up-I really like it alot!! I hope I have given you some tiny bits of help. smiles, Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-06-14 15:42:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is so full of sights, smells, and sounds that it really peaked my interest. You are writing well my friend. The descriptions of the weathered hands, bread, coffee so brings this piece alive that I could associate with it. A good title that fits the body and subject. (P.S.: Please do more critiquing).
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-06-14 09:08:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear Stephen, This is a very good write, deeply rich with imagery, scents, sounds that paint a familiar picture to the reader. Very good job with imagery - I as the reader was immersed into the core of the poem, until, reality in your last verse - snapped me back to the present. Writing ability, and talent in writing clearly abounds within this poem. It's a story, too, a love story between an aged couple - that still find the simple pleasure of their mornings together, inspiring. Great touch there. There are too many, good lines in this piece, to pick it apart, or copy & paste, with comments. I completely enjoyed this poem, from beginning to end. I'll be voting for you, this month. Good luck - and thanks for a wonderful read. sincerely, Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-06-12 19:48:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi stephen...this is the finest poem you have written! It is full of wonderful descriptive phrases that has put me right there at that country table. The notion of a couple married for 60 years and still touching in a coy but warm and beautiful way brings a lump to my throat...memories of my own parents. I am wondering if these people are your parents. My faternal grandmother came to the states from England when she was only 16 years old. Oh how I wish I had listened more carefully, as a child, to the stories she told. They are now lost forever and that saddens me so. In the second stanza where you speak of their breakfast is mouth watering. I remember my grandmother reading tea leaves and I believed every word she told was magical to me. In order for me to tell you how this piece affects me I would have to go line by line as there is not a word that is not a treasure. You end this piece on a positive note even though the day you awaken to is damp and grey. This poem is stunning and is soft and full of all the things in this world that are bright and wonderful. bravo....give us more about this lovely old couple! My best....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-06-11 15:15:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Steve, The discription are so deliciously ample in this piece, the flow well and the story inviting. Perhaps a former life glimpse through that small window we by chance get to view or perhaps you are terribly intuitive and picked up on the subject of a painting. This is a well disciplined more accomplished piece, you've done a fine job and I could not find any nit with it. Very enjoyable, thank you for the offering. Warmest always, Lora PS Good to see you back.
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