Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-07-02 11:55:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Interned

~ a dragonfly in amber confined in time feelings frozen within the icy grasp of isolation dormant dwelling in purgatory’s shadow my vacuous spirit weeps tourmaline tears lingering waiting till once again whispered wings awaken carried on currents of your chorus as the sweet melody of your smile strums soft songs of my soul fracturing the silence of solitude and vibrant flickers of deep onyx iris chase away the murkiness of an obsidian dawn exposing cloudless cerulean skies to embittered eyes seeking harmony in somber quietude whilst this hollow heart yet mourns in the stillness of absence ~

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-07-29 16:01:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mary, It's a wonderful 'eulogy' to the fossilized insect! You got me to wondering! How the bug got in the amber...... My research: amber deposits are most likely to be a product of insect or fungal assault. Amber therefore could be a reaction to attack from external forces. For example, an insect bores a hole into a branch or twig and a stream of resin is exuded to prevent further intrusion and to repair and reinforce the damage done. It's fun going a new direction.... Good job, hope your doing well! Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-07-06 18:35:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mary, This is simply eloquently picturesque, the imagery, the allits, oh heck, just the whole darn thing. Not only did your images move my mind and spirit, your form leading ever on to the conclusion but with each turn of the word you tweaked my spirit till it rode the hollow space of memories longing, of sorrowful lonliness and unfulfilled wanting that which can and should not be undone. Thank you for such a feast for the sense's, you are in my thoughts. Kudos! warmest always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-06 17:07:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi, Mary. I've been studying your poem and would like to share with you. I didn't know that dragonfly's made a cocoon! If I'm not mistaken that's how I'm reading. Being in a chrysalis would be like an isolation and the reference to icy grasp on it is really good. With the use of the word 'dormant' I can imagine that it is nearing the end of winter. "whispered wings awaken" suggests the first dawn of spring. I can almost feel the sunshine; you have chosen some really neat ways of putting this together. And then it is mid-summer and you feel the loss of that long ago friend...and again, you have conveyed the feeling of dread, dreary, and hopeful. It's a peaceful, thought provoking read. I have trouble with lines like these: murkiness of an obsidian dawn cloudless cerulean skies because they cause me to stop and ponder, stop and try to imagine... and words like this one are too outdated to be truely enjoyed while reading. whilst These are just a few thoughts for you to consider. I like the way you can take a tiny thing like an insect, and use it to display your inner thoughts. That's very creative! Smiles! Ellen

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!