This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-07-07 03:32:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Shelter

This window sill, forced arch that frames my world so comforts me with focus, mine alone in limitations, false security it leaves me blind, to face another dawn what lay beyond this framework of my choice what reason, this constructed state of mind why choose the option to remain so blind a shelter to sustain a weary soul  

Copyright © July 2006 Nancy Ann Hemsworth


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-08-06 21:36:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, Such a poignant deep reaching poem, one that a person who tends to be reclusive or solitary can definitely identify with. Each has to make their own choice, are we content with what we choose or do we wonder if the choice made was the correct one....ah, for me; I'd ponder the question and then retreat back to my own world for contented peace and where the imagination can safely play. Enjoyed this much, sorry this is such a brief crit, just wanted to let you know I'd read your offering and enjoyed it. Warmest, Lora


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-08-05 10:14:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, This piece gives the reader the feeling of need for some peace, less stress and protection from the craziness of life. I think sometimes we have to withdrawl inside to find ourselves and to heal the scars. Sometimes you have to do this to survive. And things just get crazier out in the world all the time. I like the image of framing your view of the world as through a window. To be able to shut the blinds and make the world go away. At times this piece seems disjointed, which goes well with the underlying theme. Best, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-07-19 18:16:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, It sounds like your escaping the tough old world and its problems. We all have a place of saftey from the pain of sorrow. Usually our homes . Yet we kick ourselves for being such a pansy. This is where we must dig up some courage...to take a risk. If one stays safe life is very boring. It's surprising how proud one becomes of themselves to step out of their safety zone. Take little steps. Every day do something risky. Then you'll need no shelter/you'll carry it on your person.......yourself. dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-07-12 14:01:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy... Such a beautifully honest write, my friend! The imagery is wonderful, vivid, and so complete. Many times I have felt those same self-imposed limits so as not to be "infected" with the harshness of the "outside" world. How well you have portrayed that here, and so simply and beautifully. I especially love the line: " what lay beyond this framework of my choice" This line, to me anyway, says it all. It drives home the point that it IS, after all, our choice to remain blind to all else. It also makes one contemplate all the reasons why we do it. Is it just for a respit from reality? Or, to keep from getting hurt? Maybe to avoid having to "deal" with life's little surprises? This peice, in all it's glorious simplicity, evokes deep thought and introspection. I so enjoyed that about it. The last line is perfection, as well. For, it is a "shelter" from all our woes... Brava, Nancy! Very well penned, indeed. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Going on my list, to be sure! Warmest, Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2006-07-11 03:20:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Nancy this poem struck a strong chord with me! as someone who can activly choose not to leave my own house for weeks on end, a safe haven but a flawed one! The questions that you ask are very pertinant to the "state of mind" that we find ourselves in, we know consciosly that life goes on (dont you hate that saying?) but we are happier just watching the wheels go round! I have nothing to add to your poem to me its short sharp and powerful take acre steve
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-07 14:50:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello, Nancy. What a powerful piece you have here! I really like the first two lines. I myself have sat and watched the world out through the window and so these lines really 'talked to me'. Focus on mine alone....security...reason ....(all good examples!) a suggestion= (for) what reason (I have) constructed (this) state of mind and also, one more. This idea comes from personal experience and may not fit, but here it is anyway. why choose the option to remain so blind chose to opt out of the world and stay blind..? I think it's kind of choppy (the original line) but I like what it says! I think it would flow better if you could turn those words around a little and get a smoother reading line? If it can be done without compromising the meaning it would be a good thing to try. Other than that, I have no suggestions to improve it. It is very nice and I like it alot. It spoke to me on a personal level and that's really cool. Thanks for sharing! Ellen
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