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Unanswered Knocks made upon doors too thick entry is not granted Investment of time where dew rusts metal together. Shadows arch into realness that horror alone senses You have not come far enough to find the hope, Only that truth was never companion to your dreams. In fearing to know, false shelters do not protect you from what comes. And what comes will take all you know, showing That you did not mean the kindness you offered, But hid behind it for want of courage to step into the breach Where something different could be had. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-17 08:48:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
A fine collection of enlightened philosophy's. Nice work!
My problem with reading this is that the punctuation throws me off.
Knocks made upon doors too thick (;) entry is not granted.
horror alone senses (.)
Only that truth (why cap 'only'?)
Evey line in the last verse is capped too. I just think that some of those are out of place. Every writer has his own opinion about punctuation, but then so does every reader. There are times when it is necessary to be strict and rigid in those rules, and times when it is totally inapropriate. I leave that up to you, but wanted you to know how it has effected my read of this work.
Other than that, it's a fine piece of work! You have poked about in little spoken truth's, and given me new things to ponder. I like it.