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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-07-24 21:38:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Trampled Ground

Haunting eyes taunting dreams chasing to shambles hope. Helen could have been that face, the motion, that of Wind through reeds. Stay, please stay, mercifully stay...until I find disorder Slight oddness to smile, something poorly matched. Taint my vision, ever so mildly even, but grant imperfection Some way. So that I may bear your absence, not knowing death so many times in longing for your return with dashed hope.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-08-04 19:03:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh I love how his is so classical in feel and well written..you can sense the urgency in this piece, through the pleading for some inperfection...I like the approach, short and strong and beautifully romantic with such longing.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-08-02 23:55:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, Another heart touching poem! Lovely. It pick me up and carries me through to the end, finishing with a sigh, oh my... I know of this sort of unrequited love and the sorrow it evokes. The joy of love, the pain of longing. I like the wind moving through the reeds. Entering/passing through/missing/longing. This piece shows such a loving fellow. There is many that wish for someone to love and yet are alone. If we don't love ourselves we would be doomed. Really nice. Thank you for the read. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-07-25 21:59:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81250
James--The woes of unrequited love poignantly penned herein. Speaker entreats some reason(s)to rid himself of a departed amorist. His e- namorement is overwhelming with no relief and therefore leaving pro- tagonist at wits end; "...So that I may bear your absence, not knowing death so many times in longing for your return with dashed hope." This write is melancholic in its vivid imagery of romantic longing. Sorry if I've mistated your intentions. No suggestions. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-07-25 15:59:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84000
Hi James.....to say the least this is a haunting poem and one I find so compelling that I have read it over and over. To me it speaks of a loss almost too much for the author to bear. Of course I am a hopeless romantic who is bound to interpet your words in this manner. There was a time, after the loss of my husband, when I could have penned these words (had I been talented enough!) But....I know nothing of your personal life, however I do know that you love it here where you are free to express your thoughts in poetry...weather it is understood or not makes no matter...it is the act of writing that is important. So that I may bear your absence, not knowing death so many times in longing for your return with dashed hope.......these lines are nearly too much for me to handle. The pain is akin to agony so if it is a lover or wife you speak of then I'm a goner. But if it is TPL then I am sad. Such a beautiful poem that is full of pathos and uncertainty. Please pass the tissue! Peace....Marilyn ps....whatever you do don't stop writing and sharing your talent....because that would be a travesty

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-25 13:38:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87879
This poetic prose is a pleasure to read; although it speaks of pain and absence. It is stated so well, that this reader can fully grasp and understand, without being dragged into the darkness of your pain. I do hope things get better for you (providing this is a recent work which is true to your life). I like this alot. This shows the work of an ept poet! One tiny thing that might have helped me is in your second line. Just a minor thing really, but adding a pause... ..... hope. by inserting a string line your reader might pause and contemplate..... I really like this! This is good stuff! Smiles to you! Ellen

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