This Poem was Submitted By: Fowler Trask On Date: 2006-08-07 18:08:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Electoral Math

When I'm president, I'll take away the clouds and the rain. Instead, the air will be infused with a fine mist from four thirty to six every morning. I'll tilt our planet to the vertical. Summertime will never end. The sky will whiten and ache. The moon will scream and shatter. Every particle will sing of emancipation. The balloons will fall from the rafters and I will smile, wave, grip, grin, howl, clutch, and crumple, and the song won't fade, and the moon won't rise, and my legacy will signal the dawn.

Copyright © August 2006 Fowler Trask

This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2006-08-27 16:23:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Fowler, Wow, you do a great job of balancing the tension between the grimness of your presidential rule, and the edgy/bizarre things you plan to do with the country and even reality. I quite liked the "just a bit off track" nature of the poem. The short lines running down the page made me read it rather quickly so I could find out exactly what your diabolical plans entailed. Would I vote for you? I don't know, there are some sinister thoughts in these lines, but that doesn't mean this isn't a fine poem. You take the reader on a humorous journey to find what your fantasies are in this "what if" poem. Thanks for sharing this with us. I enjoyed it immensely! Warm regards, Don

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-08-14 15:57:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Fowler....I admire you writing is fresh and exciting. I wish you would become president...imagine what a world this would be if you could do all those things? I'll tilt our planet to the vertical. Summertime will never end.......................these lines are especially appealing and original. The sky will whiten and ache. The moon will scream and shatter............wonderful lines. the poem takes on a whole new direction and meaning here and I love the way in which you have written them. short sentances that are powerful and magnetic..bravo Your ending is superb and evocative....well done....I love this poem....keep them coming! Peace....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-08-10 13:53:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
First of never answered my email. Secondly, you never gave an answer to my critiques...just a score. That is VERY innapporopriate and downright rude. If I spend the time to look at your poetry, then the least you can do is tell me why you didn't like what I had to say, etc. Your scores really don't mean diddly squat to me...however it is an insult to receive a score of 5 without you giving the reasons WHY. DIG? Now, I see you're on a math kick again...I hope you find your legacy. Summertime will never end? People who live in southern climes certainly are that way...but we need rain, and snow to fill our lakes and waters. You do have a song here. I hope you put a tune to it.And what country are you going to be President of? The title is a good one BTW. Layout is easy to read and understand.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2006-08-08 11:00:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Fowler, You have a way with words. As poetry has become a fouler task, that is more than enough for me. The colors of your line, the odd pattern in your quilt, shows you have avoided the usual lines of production. Or else subverted them for your own good. I'd prefer the latter, but either way . . . Welcome. I would have said that last month, but I had more than my usual "who gives a fuck." Mark
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