This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-08-17 15:59:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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On the Plain Of Pretense Strides....long strides...short strides
unpaced, unplanned without design
brief gusts and twisters, rain but no dew.
This moment in the valley
I can not see the sky.
I see the plan is created by necessisity
and followed through with hesitantcy
lived out as if time alone will heal
the broken..
strides. Strides that find no time to rest
but to pace the grace with countless measure
hold fast the times when the clock seemed to stop
those are the memories I will treasure.
If you must go do it quickly
but stay...stay with me and we'll shorten
the strides and stay close together
and all our memories will live forever.
I think that I can not bear anymore
these strides and then feet dragging
and the speed which brings the changes
and the paces of these strides.
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Copyright © August 2006 Ellen K Lewis
Additional Notes:
Written in a quiet moment of reflection, part of the process of healing...a way to feign the depression, and the pain that ensues it's nightmares.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-09-07 18:00:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Writing is a great way to heal and overcome depression. I trust you're keeping a Journal. I suspect the strides refer to a mate that you could not keep up with. Remember ... change is good. One only has to realize that. We cannot remain stagnant or else we wither and die. Well laid out.
No need for those periods you threw in. Stay well. Take a bubble bath....
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-08-19 14:25:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Ellen...Wow....this is a profound poem and one I have read several times. But more than that it is full of melancholy and heart rendering sadness. I does read as moments of reflection but also there is a plea there that I can't quite wrap my mind around. I like poetry that makes me stop and think and you have certainly done that here. Is the depression due to a loved one about to leave or is the loved one leaving because of the depression? Either way this is well written and has some mystery to it that makes it outstanding. Well done and I hope your healing is taking place every day.
Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-08-18 17:05:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen,
What an intriqueing write. Had it not been for your note I'd been hard pressed to think this was somewhat of a romantic interlude, something for someone very close that you did not want to loose. It is to me somewhat sad :If you must go do it quickly
but stay...stay with me and we'll shorten
although I would place a coma after "go" and again after "quickly" for that is the way it read for me although a bit stilted on first read.
Enjoyable and definitely reflextive, entices reader to some self reflection....profound effect.
Thank you for sharing.
Best always,
Lora
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