This Poem was Submitted By: Duane R Botzek On Date: 2006-10-17 18:45:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Trust More Than Anything

I hope that your trust comes easy, and the chances pass slow And your heart is mending, and the hurt lets go And when you’re dumped now and then, look back in where you’ve been I hope you trust in the ones that mean the most to you. Even if your heart gets broken, to another close to you I hope you trust in this moment and not in the last If it’s cold inside, melt hearts with the warmth in your smile Trust more than anything, trust more than anything My wish, for you, is that trust in you becomes all that you want it to, And your trust becomes as a three-strand rope Tightly braided and woven with me, my God and you spun with hope And when you’re out there and lose trust in you I hope you know that someone trusts in you, and wants the same thing too Trust, more than anything, is what you can do… I wish you’d trust in you, but never forget All the ones who love you in this moment, and yet I wish you could forgive, with no lasting regret And learn to trust some one every chance you get Oh, you’ll feel God’s love, in every mistake And know He will give you more than they take May your trust become strong Trust more that anything, trust more than anything My wish, for you, is that trust becomes everything That when you heart gets broken And shattered like ropes sometimes do I hope you gather up the life-giving fiber of trust And braid your rope of trust brand new Doesn’t matter how broken, trust in what your heart can do Mend it, weave it, braid it into your shattered heart like glue This is my wish May your trust become strong                Trust more than anything…                                           It’s what you can do…                                                                You know He loves you…

Copyright © October 2006 Duane R Botzek


This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-10-25 08:09:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Oh this is a delightful, uplifting piece! These are the works of art I look for when reading poetry. Faith, hope, and trust, and the greatest of these is love. In the first verse, line three, I think I see something that you could improve. And when you’re dumped now and then, look back in where you’ve been Look back AT where you've been....I do see that inversion of looking back also brings us to look inside of ourselves-but isn't that exactly where doubts begin? I know I am picking, but it is a line that can be improved upon (in my opinion). This line also needs one change. Even if your heart gets broken, to another close to you I think it would feel more natural if it read BY another close to you` This is my favorite line and pretty much says it all- I hope you trust in this moment and not in the last Another line that needs looked at is this one- If it’s cold inside, melt hearts with the warmth in your smile I think you mean to say, if it's cold OUTSIDE. Here is a suggestion for this line- And shattered like ropes sometimes do- I think that ropes sometimes fray or become loosely wrapped but I don't know if they shatter. And shattered like ropes sometimes do The flow in the next lines is beautifully penned with hope and love. My favorite thought- Trust more that anything, trust more than anything My wish, for you, is that trust becomes everything I like the repetition. It offers strength and shares hope. I hope you gather up the life-giving fiber of trust... That is a really cool thought. braid it into your shattered heart like glue .....so far I see a gathering of fibers, a weaving of fibers and a renewing of that trust...I can't see the connection with the 'glue'.....Maybe you could use the word 'new' which also rhymes. Or perhaps 'renew'...If a person were to weave new fibers into a rope it would become stronger and fuller... I hope I have not confused you! I really really like this! This is an awe inspiring write. One of my favorite poems so far. Thanks for sharing!


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-10-20 16:58:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Duane, Nice to meet you....... I like your ideas of trusting. I like your three strand idea/braided woven spun. A few suggestions: And when you’re dumped now and then, look back in where you’ve been [to instead of in] I hope you trust in the ones that mean the most to you. Even if your heart gets broken, to another close to you [by another/instead of to another] That when you heart gets broken [your instead of you] And shattered like ropes sometimes do A bit of work yet to do......good ideas, just get rid of the repetition and excess. Hope to read more of your stuff! My best, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-19 10:47:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Duane....I don't usually go in for long poems but this one was well worth the read. There is a lot of repetition but you have weaved it in and through the lines and made it work. While I liked the entire piece your very last words...You know He loves you..." gives the poem depth and additional meaning. And now I am wondering if this poem is you speaking to yourself or a loved one. The mystery is intriguing and very compelling.....well done. Best....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-10-18 19:14:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Duane While this sounds like it is written for someone else, I get the feeling it is as much a song to your own wounded self as to anyone else's. It's very gentle and forgiving. Nicely done. Best wishes, Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-10-18 07:08:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Good Morning Duane........welcome to the link since I have not seen your name before. I find it rather difficult to critique these days but I did want to stop by and let you know I have read your presented poem and find the subject matter of Trust most inportant in everyone's life.........Perhaps you might want to tighten it up a bit, change a few things around, even the title might attact more readers if it read: More then anything, Trust.......just a thought........ Perhaps in the opening stanza you might want to change the word: And when you’re dumped now and then, look back in where you’ve been ....change in to to......it reads a bit easier.........I do like the thoughts of mending trust and weaving it back into your heart for that is probably the hardest thing to do once it is broken. Thank you for posting and sharing and I do look forwrd to finding more of your work here.....God Bless, Claire
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!