This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-11-19 13:34:40 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Drilling Stage

 ~~   ~~    ~~ Tommorow would be the beginning of a new chapter.  ~~   ~~    ~~ I tell my tale as I see it today; though it was long, long ago or perhaps it was only just yesterday..... ~~    ~*~     ~*~ It took two men in hospital green's -I remember their masks with their eyes peering over the tops of their noses  as if I could poison them with my presence or perhaps they were worried about breathing on me.. They did the whole procedure right there in my room... I sat at a table, a desk, it was something else something they had wheeled in....a dentist office like a bed-in-a-bag; everything they needed to start their drilling. It was time to look into my brain. I fainted after the first spark or I saw lights but not  a vision- I went into shock in less than one second and it was long enough for me to think or did I say it outloud? "oh sh*t" ~~~ Eighteen electrodes, each with it's wires tiny threads all wrapped together I was the Eve of the ball with my head all done up to protect my nakedness from the monster who had control of time it was not yet midnight. ~~ It was a comical hat really, Frued would have loved it though it had nothing to do with style or comfort It was state-of the-art and I was right up-town with the pigeons, and I was the guinne pig. ~~ Through most of February and half of March the camera never closed it's eye the electrodes never stopped their recording the monitors did not stop their listening and the students never quit guessing or testing. ~~ Evoke a tremmor confuse the trained mind expose what is hidden and perhaps you will find the broken nerve path in this brain. ~~ Give it no rest, or nourishment but keep the changes constant this is a timed test so lets not  take all week. ~~ Flashing lights and patterns that danced around my room like impish fairy's daring me to make my move... I imagined they were laughing and that I would get the last laugh when ever this was done. ~~ Noise. What was that noise? thumping, tat tat, thump thumping, tat tat, thump I wondered if it were my heartbeat or just another sailor all dressed in green ..but we never set sail. ~~ Tinkle tinkle went the bell, blink blink a tiny light, a lone star in a black hole, somewhere far away. I closed my eyes and someone called my name. ~~ Fruit juice? Do I smell fruit? I really am confused.  Oranges and lemons don't grow in the dark and certainly not in the sea~~ ~~~ And finally, finally...finally the puzzle was complete. My soul and my psychi all laid out on a 6 dimensional map of me.

Copyright © November 2006 Ellen K Lewis

Additional Notes:
Page One, part two.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-12-06 01:22:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76000
Hi Ellen...I had no intention of critiquing tonight....I should be asleep. However, when I read the first few lines of this poem I was compelled to read on. What a chilling tale. I'm thinking this is about electro shock therapy and I can't imagine going through something as horrifying as that must be. You have written this so well I was actually on the edge of my chair as I read every line while holding my breath. You have given this tale such mystery and intrigued that I would deny anyone could stop reading until the last word. You have a superb gift as a story teller...bravo. Blessings....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-12-02 05:34:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Ellen, This left me in wonder and it gave me chills. You've very deftly written a piece that can do nothing less than mesmerize the reader. I applaud your courage for writing about something so intimate and for entrusting us with a view into part of your world... I must admit that I don't quite know how to respond, all the emotions that I feel from this read are so deep that they defy naming so I'll just say thank you and bless you. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-11-23 01:14:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Ellen Evidently I have missed part one, but I was engrossed by part two. You tell the story very well. It comes across almost like you're recounting a dream ... but then I supposed that's how the past always tends to look, like we're not quite sure whether it happened or not, or how. If this was a real event, it sounds horrible ... ... but fascinating, in a horror-story kind of way. Best wishes Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-11-22 15:24:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Certainly an interesting an well laid out piece. I'm not sure of the map you speak of here esp. in six dimensions. I think of ECT when I read this. What does your soul and psyche tell you now. I am trying to get back into writing and critiquing, and this is my first attempt at it since my heart failure 6 weeks ago. I know it's now much. Just wanted to let you know, I enjoyed it.
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