This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2006-11-19 23:33:44 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © November 2006 Debbie Spicer
The Judge appeared, pasty white and unconcerned
We stood as told holding our breaths
In a position never known before
The jury in a place unfamiliar to them.
The opening statement was one of truth
Yet the opposite side focused on the worse
We listened with knowledge of reality
They continued with lies of deceit.
The trial was long with continued deception
Preponderance of evidence was in our favor
Little did we know the adjudicators misunderstood
Dishonesty from the ones who supported me.
Injustice was served no matter the facts
Showing us immense treachery
Discrimination remains at all our cost
How sad this is how courts remain.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-12-06 07:05:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Hoping the sharing of this one helps you find peace within for once more we see how the justice system has failed the innocent of this world. You have created the scene of the couyrt room with your words, the judge, the jury, the shame of it all.........Thank you for sharing with us; this was not an easy task for you and yours. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-12-03 22:36:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
I apologize for taking so long to get to your offering. I've read through a number of times and come away so pissed off at the judical system that I could quite literaly spit nails.
Extremely well penned, you carry your reader through the whole process. A person unfamiliar with how our system works could learn a thing or two from your write. Wish there were something I could do to help right the horrible injustice, as you well know- unfortunately you are but one and most never have the words or chance to voice the injustice that has been done to them. Your poem reminded me of the movie which Al Pacino played in "And Justice For All", you and the movie have told it like it is, more people need to be aware of how fair our system IS'NT !
Thanks for shareing with us, bravo on your write.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-12-03 11:26:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi, Debbie. As I'm reading this piece, I can't help but notice that our style of writing seems to have alot in common! I like the way you have told your story. How true and how sad, but I'm afraid you are right.
I'd like to see you add more to this. I think the reader should be let in a little bit more; feel the tragedy with you. Are you holding back? Don't! Let it out with all the emotion you can fit into it. Make me the jury or the judge, or the victom of them!
I like the form you used. And the tempo is consistant. Your lines don't all rhyme, but they don't have to because your word choices kind of 'click' on the tongue. I like it that way.
It feels very real and truely spoken. I hope that you decide to make it a longer, fuller peice of prose as it is very good!
Stir it up poet! smiles to you, Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-11-25 20:48:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Sounds like you didn't succeed to get your case won.
The real trouble as you say is in understanding. Even spelling something out there still
is a communication problem.
Most don't take the time or care enouugh to deal rightly with problems.
Attorneys deserve their bad rap!
Sorry you have to live with injustice in this matter.
Its hard not to lose faith in 'it all'
good job sharing your trials....
Hope for peace
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-11-20 15:01:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Hi Debbie....I am so happy to see a poem from you on my list. This poem speaks of the inadequacy of our penal system. An example of that was the O.J. trial. It may not be the fault of the judge or the jury but of indescrimenate attorneys who want to win at all costs. They can make false statements or put a spin on the evidence without the jury being aware of what they are doing. Apparently that is what happend in the case you write about. I am wondering if this is personal or maybe a friend but either way it was not justice. A well written poem with good word flow and structure. At the same time it is melancholy and even though justice was not served it is written without anger...that takes class! Hope all is well with you and your family and also I hope you will continue to write and post your work here.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-11-20 08:58:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
No, Debbie, it is not sad...it is an outrage. Throughout the land, the
system has fallen to hell. Ten times worse in civil courts and in family
courts, simply because media takes little interest what happens there, ironically
the criminal element gets the best shake.
I've gone through this, involved in a law suit that lasted over 3 years and four
different lawyers. Each one either wouldn't do the filings or they simply sold
out...caught one doing just that.
Once the feds supplied some degree of oversight to the system, but in keeping
with the model of holding back federal funds to a state for not implementing
federal agenda, they inversely promise not to return indictments against locals
if they give up their authority over feds in limiting federal venue.
Now you have a seedbed for corruption we didn't have during Prohibition. Corrupt
DAs pick and choose what cases will go before the Grand Jury and civil law cases
receive the most bizarre of rulings, with the innocense of victims almost a trophy
for the system to display its arbitrariness. Family courts, thought to look out
for the interests of children, won't take the time to examine their cases closely
enough TO adequately do so. Dangerously disturbed parents are ending up with custody
and killing children. Totally impervious to pleas from those concerned that dangers
I like the way your poem step-by-step develops the travel through this procedural
jungle. "The trial was long with continued deception", harkons your expectation of
fair treatment. "The jury in a place unfamiliar to them", delivers what plight juries,
selected from those, though supposed peers, are really not equipped to be adequate
to the task and are too often led to decisions. "Discrimination remains at all cost",
the ultimate indictment of a system that makes choices just as opposed to common
sense as it is to decency, with an obvious predilection to side.
Yes, Debbie, it is all a lesson in injustice, from a system fallen to perversion,
enjoying the power to be wrong, not to correct it.
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