This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-11-25 23:32:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Stepping Stone

Slipping down the staircase sideways until the final bump stings my ass  with the reality that death is ever so near and I so far of where I need to be  to see the dreams trapped in my heart materialize Gasping aloud to break the trance the sound of my voice lifts me to my feet while a scornful rage burns in the pit of my stomach Regrets are not allowed Do tell me again  how we are suppose to be where "He" wants us to be in life I will reply and go on praying and doing what's right It could be much worse Yes In humble hesitation I agree No night, no day, play out well in one's own - pity

Copyright © November 2006 DeniMari Z.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2006-12-01 07:37:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You really struck a chord with me on this one. I wallowed in self-pity for decades. You so accurately describe a universal attitude. "Why me? Why me?" Followed by the equally universal recognition of perspective, ending with humble acceptance, "Why not me." Did you let out a resigned sigh when you finished writing this? I did when I read it. Thanks for holding up this mirror KenP

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2006-11-27 10:33:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari, interesting vers libre piece on "answering the great questions" of direction, destination and discernment of His will in daily life. Verbiage is clear, construct supports the reader's pace, while the story line proceeds to the final "Yes" of the writers acceptance and awareness of the importance of humility, while time stands still in the limbo of "pity". Thanks for the work, always a pleasure to comment on this type of introverted searching..."Not my will, but Thine be done" is foundational to so many theological foundations. Thanks for allowing me to comment.. Peace, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-11-27 09:42:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMarie, having grown up in circumstances mindfully painful still, your poem sets off those "steps" intended to bring one up "to par" by one voraciously brutal parent upon a child selected as their own whipping post. That child was my younger brother whom I defended and by doing so, received my own torments. One reason I spent so many summers elsewhere. I would have taken my brother with me if I had been so allowed. It is a wonder he survived his childhood. In juxtaposing being knocked down the stairs with "Stepping Stone", presumably up, you capture the great self-deceit of the child abuser. Why, they're just making you tough, life was so hard on'll thank them one day for the "great regard". That's not exactly what my brother came out of it thinking. Neither one of us EVER touched our children in anger. And the self-piety, self-styling religion just to somehow santify cruelty. There is not one line of this hard hitting poem that does not hammer a sensitive reader into its picture, a picture of how personal dignity suffers outrage in the face of domestic violence "practiced with impunity". My dear, when one suffers these things, under the pressure of trying not to be the one to bring the house down upon even those loved ones innocent there, the misery need'nt be thought of as self-pity. More properly, it might be thought the wish to divulge something the pressure of self-restraint leaves in the order to be without it. I hope, in some small way, to have helped this process. A dynamic poem, one whose effect is such that this reader won't treat it by its parts. Reverently won't do so. My absolute hope that the rest of your life be free of such as this. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-11-26 23:30:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
DeniMari, Bravo, just what I needed this evening. Uplifting and poignant, sort of kick starting and wow do I need that right now. I guess it's the old "can't see the forest for the trees" syndrom, I also find that sometimes it is hard to keep my heart and mind in the right place when faced with worldly situations, falling into the "woe is me". Faith can carry one through anything, just have to believe no matter what it is that one's belief system is; just keep the faith. You've done a wonderful job at stating the very things we so often over look. No nits here, I wouldn't change a thing. Lora
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