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This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-12-09 09:40:19 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Heavens Christmas

Angels,colored ribbons a star upon a tree Lights the spark of Christmas deep inside of me With Santa, presents and snow on the ground Family and friends gathering around Cares seem to fly away on this blessed day As we celebrate the birth of Jesus We celebrate with love This special day of the year Sent to us from Heaven above

Additional Notes:
This was my 3rd poem, posted here at TPL in 2001. Thought, I'd submit it again, just for the holiday season. Hope all of you have a wonderful holiday. (Remember to go to bed early on the 24th, Santa won't come while you're awake (smile)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-12-31 01:10:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari, Really liked this one, the cadence and rhyme made this an easy read that left this reader with a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Thank you for such a nice gift this time of year. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-12-29 00:32:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari, I love the poem making a tree shape. Christmas is a nice time to forget and enjoy the now. If only our country would live the peace it professes. If only the magic could make a difference. Nice christmas card poem also. Happiness to you... Dellena A sugar lump in your stocking.

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-12-26 11:09:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Subtle assonance in this poem is most remarkable. Led to it by matching the meter with the assonant rhyme is quite an accomplishment. "blessed" with "Jesus" is the best success. Your economy with words and pleasantly dropped imagery defeats the cliche' effect we might otherwise associate with the bombardment of cheering greeting cards and and overdone marketing techniques hitting our senses this time of year. Yes, DeniMari, a pleasant change. And a heartfelt one. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-12-16 08:32:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
DeniMari, You begin this with such colorful imagery that invades the mind with great exhuberance! One can almost 'feel' the excitement and anticipation with the following few lines. An almost 'childlike' apprehension....waiting for the next line... This warm and touching poem really tugs the heart, and reflects such a reverance for the season. I very much enjoyed reading this one, my friend. Thanks so much for sharing the wonder! My best to you always, Mary

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-12-09 21:10:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thank you for bringing to life the meaning of Christmas ; peace, love, joy in Christ and family gathered together in celebration of what the season is truely about........Enjoyed the title, enjoyed the read and all the beauty it presents......Merry Christmas to you and yours as well...........God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-12-09 15:54:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Denimari...this is a lovely poem and a good reminder of what we are celebrating this time of year. It is well written and carries a special message. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas. I am going to Texas to spend the holiday with two of my children who live there. I will check in with TPL when I can just to see what is going on! Be happy and well. Blessings....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-12-09 11:09:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello. This is a sweet sentimental! I love your word choices. Your rhymes are good too. I don't really think this piece appreciates the two line form. I think that if you were to combine your sentence structure you would create a much nicer read. Now I know I am getting picky, but take a look at this line again. Light(s) the spark of Christmas deep inside of me Angels,colored ribbons These are very nice thoughts and deserve more attention! a star upon a tree could be described more? shining star? atop a decorated tree? Lights the spark of Christmas light the spark of Christmas that lay deep inside of me! ...? deep inside of me Angels, colored ribbons...not enough! gala colors or are they pastels? Describe these things with more detail and you will have a finer poem. Sorry to pick so much. I really like the totality of your thoughts, but feel the line structure takes away from your joy.

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