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The Sea of Misery Part 1 You flew from me on broken wings across the Sea of Misery. The splinters of your shattered soul litter the path you took. To find you I need only go the sparkling way they lead. Slips of silver bob among the waves of choppy sea. The moon reflects these beacons bright and sway me to pursue. I fear I’ve lost you to the deep, I’ve no choice but to go. Steeling myself against the cold, I plunge into the drink. While first the rigor startles breath, I soon churn ceaselessly. Through the brine, the bounding main, and on through cunning surf. The slivers of the man you were lead me well enough. It saddens me that they should be left strewn across the sea. These pieces of a love I had laid rest so carelessly. I seek these treasures out in turn and draw them close to me. Rough splinters of your soul of glass compel me to proceed. Their edges cut and slice my skin and blood soon taints the sea, but I do not feel these wounds of flesh for my heart’s greater agony. Through suffering I persevere while life begins to drain. Oblivious, thinking of you, I cannot feel the pain. I swim on, slower now, and wonder why I’ve waned. I’m tired and yet the path goes on, perhaps I’ve come in vain. Doubting now, I grasp a shard and pull it to my breast. A murderous wave sees its break and throws me on the glass. This time the cut runs deep and I begin to understand. Your jagged soul had stolen mine. I should ne’er have left the land. Knowing now my end is near, the boiling sea grows calm. The sky is gray and dull. It waits, recognizing darkness won. Floating now in placid sea, I vaguely feel betrayed. But not for long, the end is here. I sink into my grave. Part 2 I flew from you on broken wings across the Sea of Misery. Broken pieces of my soul rained on the waves below. Though I flew, the air hung thick and resisted any breeze. I chased the dark, the night, and then I chased sweet misery. You, my love, were chaste and good, my beacon burning bright. But there’s darkness in my soul, you see, and I could not stand the light. I hoped you’d understand, dear, though I doubted that you would, I’d no power to control it, I don’t even think you could. I escaped into my darkness, pulled my pain around me tight. I wallowed - I mean, gave in to my downward spiral flight. Self-loathing, pessimism, cynicism, self-pity. The joys- or rather woes I mean, of the darkness that is me. Lost in thoughts of hopelessness I crashed into the blue. Who’d have thought my broken wings would give out halfway through? Suddenly thrown in the deep, panic soon set in. Safely in the sky above I hadn’t cared I couldn’t swim. I thrashed to keep my head above but the waves would not abate. They crashed and rolled me o’er again and mean to take me out. Just when it seemed my end was near my mind turned back to you, and instantly the sea grew still to mull you over too. In the quiet I found that I could paddle more than not, and on the glassy surface I saw something I’d forgot. The pieces of my soul that I’d so idly left behind now gleamed a silver arrow to get safely back to land. As I slowly made my way along this makeshift breadcrumb way, I put each piece of silver soul somewhere inside of me. Most went back near whence they came, but some got switched around. I hoped you wouldn’t notice, and you didn’t, because you’d drowned. I found you floating peacefully, I first thought you asleep. You seemed to smile as though you dreamt of better men than me. But I could not wake you though I shook and shook and shook. It should have been my death that way and not your life it took. I thought to take your body home so you could rest in peace, but you held every other piece of me. The path home was erased. Shaken, I turned around and looked on either side of me, Looking for some clue that meant which way that I should flee. No sign appeared to me that day, just endless sky and sea. I couldn’t bear to leave you there when you’d died because of me. Holding you close, I tried to swim the way I thought you’d come. But not for long, I’m sinking now, and both our lives are done. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-12-28 22:54:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is a long, elaborate work and will be hard to crit' but I will do what I can. First thing that bugged me was: The splinters of your shattered soul. As I read on I can understand that you intend for these 'splinters' to be a guide for you. Interesting parody. A broken fragile piece of glass might throw 'shards'....I think the word splinters is misleading.
I plunge into the drink......I question this. Are you being coy or is this a sailors term?
Doubting now, I grasp a shard
and pull it to my breast.
A murderous wave sees its break
and throws me on the glass. If I understand so far, a shard is a piece of his soul. You grasp for it,
and it cuts you up..?
I flew from you on broken wings...I like this line, and then this a little later:
would give out halfway through?
I needed that to bring me back to the point.
and mean to take me out. (meant)(?)
As I slowly made my way along
this makeshift breadcrumb way,
I put each piece of silver soul >>>this is a great verse. I feel like I am picking up the meaning of your
somewhere inside of me. whole poem....the puzzle is starting to come together
The path home was erased. >>I almost missed the ''path'- this line reminds me again, of where you
might be headed with this
Holding you close, I tried to swim
the way I thought you’d come.
But not for long, I’m sinking now,
and both our lives are done.
Uuuuu...what a sad, sad ending. I didn't really like this piece at the first read, but after I really looked it over (adding each verse and line by line their relationship to each other) I see that there is very much more to understand. It gets better as I study and in the end I like it. It's intriging for sure. It's dark and mysterious too. A challenge to read.