This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2007-01-03 16:18:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Ah, Such Memories

The shadows are dancing In my eyes and in my thoughts Inviting me to surrender To the journeys of yesteryears It will summon the mountains to crumble and disappear And bring down the ladder, the stairways of heaven I'll wait for the night to come back again  So I can look upon the sky and see the half moon smiles  

Copyright © January 2007 Erzahl Leo M. Espino

Additional Notes:
* as we welcome the new year * after 1 and half year, I’m back with a vengeance...hehehe... * I missed you guys...I missed TPL

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-01-28 11:52:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Erzahl- I must say the first thing this did to me was to recall Amok’s lament at the end of “The Illearth Wars”, but Stephen R Donaldson. (Second book in the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever Series). The series may be obscure to you but your spirit in this piece matches his “Ah Kevin, Life is sweet, and I have lived so short a time, must I pass away?”. You begin with “shadows”- already the metaphor of memories and past journeys is set. Then you speak of “surrender” and we all join in with you to the specters of what was. Stanza 1 is powerful. In stanza 2 you bring in history and the wrought of time. You bring in “heaven” and thus eternity to the vision. Finally- in a moment of retiscens and hope; you speak of tomorrow; “to come back again”- and we know the story is not complete. Finally, you leave it all personalized (and since you have taken us on the journey, it becomes personalized for us as well), with the eternal and “half moon smiles”. An excellent work.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-01-16 01:03:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl, The poem seems to say to me that you haven't reconciled with yesterday. You must accept the past and surrender to it/you are choiceless to do otherwise. It feels like love gone astray...[stairway to heaven] you've emotional mountains to climb....but the heavens will smile back again...I'm sure of that! You are a poet you know..... It's been too long..... Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2007-01-14 12:13:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello. Nice to meet you! I like your style. This is a charming piece. "Half moon smiles' is intoxicating and delightfully fresh. I love your title! It also, seems fresh. Do you always capitalize each line? It was the only distraction I found while reading. It's true that it is up to each pen to decide what is properly done; so I can't say it's 'wrong'. Still, it was distracting for this reader. But I really like the whole thing! Very nice. I'm glad you have come back! Smiles to you, Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2007-01-14 10:53:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Erzahl! Erzahl! Where have you been? I once tried to contact you when nobody cares to reply! Hehehe. Excited to know that you are back! As for me, I am just lurking around TPL once in a while. Happy New Year to you my friend!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-01-11 08:53:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl... For suc a short poem, this is astounding in both it's veriage and imagery. Written with such depth, as well. I love poems that evoke deep thought, and this did just that. I can't even pick a favorite passage, as it's grand in it's entirity! But, I simply adore the last line. It seems to "grin" at you as I read. What a wonderful wrap to this beautiful write. Your right! Your back with a vengence!! Bravo! Warmest, Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-01-09 09:10:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
It is so good to have you back, Erzahl. We've missed you, too. And what wonderful image-making you create in this poem with the illusion. The subtlety of a smiling half moon is such a mood catching way to end this poem and parallels so well both glimpses at "the sky" and, perhaps, TPL. The musing of soliloquy is here but with the light remorse of once unshared memory. But now you can share them. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-01-08 19:51:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Erzahl, nice to see you back again..what a lovely poem you have presented to us. I love the use of "shadows dancing" to express the recall of memories..nicely done, and a great and vivid image as well. I have a few suggestions to make, the second stanza, should it not be "They" instead of "it"..for if you are talking of the shadows they are plural.and in your end line, I would use the word "smiling" in "and see the half moom smiling" unless you are talking of watching the moom on numberous occasions. Loved the images in this little gem. Hope I am helpful, or perhaps way off and if I am, just simply ignore me..(smile)
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2007-01-08 13:50:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I am so glad to see you back and writing. I hope it is a long time before you find your ladder! Short and sweet. Noting to change. Keep on writing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-01-04 16:05:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Welcome home it is so very nice to see you and find your work again. Like the read, the feel of this one, the images projected............we all have dreams to bring forth of yesteryears and we all have dreams still in the making..........hope you have taken off your shoes and put on your slippers so you can stay with us awhile.......thanks for posting, for coming home, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-01-04 12:33:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Erzahl...It is so heart warming to see you post a poem again. Don't know what took you away but I'm sure all of us are glad to have you back. You have certainly not lost your touch! This is a lovely poem with great phrases and word choices. I love the idea of shadows dancing and the smiles of a half moon. Very creative and evocative. I can't wait to read another poem from you pen. Missed you....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-01-04 11:26:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Erzahl, No nits from this reader, only praise, such wonderfully discriptive verbiage and pictures painted there in. This is the first of your poems I've read and was truly not disappointed. Thank you for honoring us with this gift. Lora
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