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This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2007-02-12 16:30:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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little haiku's (from Don't Betray the Blood)

the greatest question and the answers to be found flow within the blood * * * it's a dark moment when self depends on ego and no light is found * * * ego is to self as survival is to live as blood is to save * * * mans nescessities to live a full life blood, soul and spirit

Additional Notes:
Little bits and pieces to keep me straight during hard times...Don't Betray the Blood is a short novel I am working on.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jenni M Meredith On Date: 2007-03-07 21:12:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I always enjoy pithy sayings and short but deep poems like these. However, you call them haiku and they are perhaps more accurately described as haiku form. I say this because in all but one you do follow the seventeen syllable form with 5/7/5 (your final one here is 5/5/5 so perhaps the middle line is a little short for the haiku balance). But as I understand it, haiku should also be about nature and there should be two distinct images conveyed; (either the first two lines and the last line) or the first lien and the last two lines. I believe seneru are 17 syllable poems about human nature (if so these would fall better into that category). Aside from that the poems here are delightful and thought provoking. Remind me more of Chinese wisdom than of Japanese haiku. But this is not a criticism. I don't have any criticism of them as poems; only of the label 'haiku':) I hope I am not being too pedantic?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-02-13 07:35:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Good Morning Ellen.........interesting little haiku's indeed and well presented. The Blood certainly has many meanings for many of us........To give the gift of life, give blood. Wish I could but no one can use my blood due to the illness I have and the meds I take to survive myself..........the novel you are working on should be quite interesting to read if the bits and pieces presented here come from that work you are preparing. Hope to see more of this form of work from your pen and my best with this novel. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-02-12 18:24:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Ellen, Wow. However, I don't believe these would be considered haiku but rather senryu; my reason is thus: "senryu, another three-line, 5-7-5 style that is NOT nature-based, but is much more open in both subject matter (including the human side of existence) and subjective viewpoint, incorporating at times, even humor and political content. " They are poignant and deep with inner thought. In the third one are you sure you meant "live" instead of "life"? For me it reads better as "life" but that's just me. Nicely done, thanks for sharing with us. best, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-02-12 16:47:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Ellen...very nice haiku's. Well written with good thoughts and a wise message. In the third one do you mean...as survival is to life...instead of...to live? Soul and spirit are synonomous and I had a critiquer point that out to me once. However, to me they are not the same. I think of spirit is one's will and elan while the soul is the being inside that where all our softness lies...if that makes any sense! I like haiku but forget to write them. Yours have given me the desire to write one.... Cheers....Marilyn

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