This Poem was Submitted By: Shannon M Bloomquist On Date: 2007-03-20 01:55:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Did she hurt you baby? I know she did come here let me hold you let me make this ok it won’t be ok not right now in the morning  (I promise) you’ll feel differently not great not even good and certainly not perfect but I know you’ll feel  differently use me take from me what I will give you freely you’re my family finally I have found out what true love  is not the feeling you get when you lay eyes on someone for the first time not the feeling  you get  when someone kisses you not the feeling of being loved the feeling of loving true love  is the feeling  of loving goddamn someone quote me I am as brilliant as  Descartes Socrates Berekely you I am as brilliant as you as brilliant as my eyes can comprehend as brilliant  as my eyes can see you are beautiful you don’t deserve  hurt like this let me take you inside let me fix you i can’t fix you don’t let me be over-romantic don’t let me be dramatic don’t let me be please don’t let me be I promise I’ll be there when you wake up  there when you fall asleep there thinking about you  in between my sheets  rustle  because I cannot sleep without you there there is little but there is fear fear you have always understood even when you pretended not to pretended not to notice my tears pretended to care you used me like every... but pay no mind you need me now finally  (family?) i was scared i was alone nothing would stay down you got angry you got violent you got me better and now i am better like never before  you never needed me before but now she hurt you baby? I know she did.

Copyright © March 2007 Shannon M Bloomquist

Additional Notes:
The title is a Bulgarian slang word. I believe it means "one of many lovers." I am hoping it doesn't mean "one who HAS many lovers" or... "prostitute."

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-04-07 17:04:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
Just letting you know I stopped by to read this poem and found it quite interesting, full of emotions and images which you have created with the flare of your pen. Thanks for taking the time to share. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-03-27 20:09:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Dear Shannon, This poem is packed with emotions from beginning to end. An ex-lover leaning on someone, after being hurt by a new love. It's comprehendable and easy to read - from beginning to end - which enhances the read for me. It says, I can, and I can not help you - I want to, but it's not really good for me to do that, but I will, for tonight. Poetic - The second verse is one of my favorites. The cards are put on the table, It's a bad feeling he's having, it's romantic pain, but yes, it won't be gone by the morning - just different. I love the way you stated this thought - excellent! It has impact on the reader, the whole poem left an impact on me. It's most inspiring parts, are the truths, the raw emotions, and the fragility of the human spirit in pain. Very nicely done, sincerely, Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2007-03-22 13:19:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
This is almost like a reality check for the untamed heart! It is very open, indistinct, and yet at the same time it is full and overflowing. It smacks of pain, or worse, depression. The realization that nothing is 'best' and there is little that might be 'better'....harlots wrecking harmony.... I think I can say that there are a few lines that seem redundant, a little too airy perhaps. I promise) you’ll feel differently not great not even good and certainly not perfect........babbling? not the feeling > could you have used different analogies instead of repeating that this is 'NOT' ? True growth of love in this family I think! This is a nice artistic view. I really like this. Ellen
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!