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This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2007-04-11 08:50:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Autumn morning

Amber leaves veins fill, stop: summer coagulates. Crisps fall from trees in puddles, the spent sun. Grass rebounds in brisk trade, yellow blades for cool sprung green needles. Water cleaves to the earth. The sky's arch holds space safe at a blue distance.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-04-19 01:07:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Mark, Autumn, is such a beautiful season and one of my favorites. There is good imagery in this piece - amber leaves, crisps fall, puddles, spent sun My favorite line is: Grass rebounds in brisk trade, I can see it in my mind, as I see it in reality. The last two lines are the best of the whole poem. The rhyme of space/safe is enhancing, and the imagery done very well. I did enjoy this poem, for it's simplicity and tribute to such a beautiful time of the year. sincerely, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gene Dixon On Date: 2007-04-13 19:25:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH - A bit out of season for an Autumn idyll, no? I know the weather has been weird but..it IS April and Spring, right? Seriously...for this type poem to be successful, the images have to be very sharp - not an easy thing to do with words (as opposed to paintbrushes). You've accomplished that...rather easily, it seems! Nice Peace Gene

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-04-13 14:27:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH, The tight construction poem, the little, hard diamond. Very haikuish. Can't offer you much on this one. I'm not much of a naturalist. :) But I can't pass over a poem by my favorite Aussie poet. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2007-04-12 23:25:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Mark, Ah, what a nice juxtaposition, putting an autumn poem in all the abundant spring/summer offerings on TPL. Wonderful words --summer coagulates, spent sun, yellow blades, and especially "sky's arch holds space safe at a blue distance". This poems demonstrates that season intrinsically has no bearing on just how much expression a poet can draw out of it. There is something so marvellously simple and rich about this poem, refreshingly so, because it fades no life in its autumn depiction. Terry

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-04-12 02:09:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Enjoyed the images created just by the title....Autumn Morning........a feeling of peace fills the presence around me..........as one images turns into another.....so well presented in every aspect. Enjoyed the beginning the filling and the end so much. Thanks for posting, certainly a winner for this month. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-04-11 16:22:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Mark....are you taking a page from my book? You know how I love to write about nature so you must know how much this poem appeals to me....well all of your poetry does but this one especially. You have used a plethora of wonderful phrases that create perfect images in my feeble mind. I am at a total loss to tell you which one I like the best as they are all outstanding. Beautiful and elegant...bravo hugs....Mazza p.s. I am going on vacation....I'll come back tan and sassy!

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-04-11 13:09:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Specificity, the ultimate enemy of all poetic is being slapped pretty hard here, wonderfully. Crisp leaves in puddles is quite a dissimilarity, a most novel poetic ambiguity that delights the senses as they forage the attic for reference. This is profoundly gifted use of poetic license, although the first two lines are the better. The disassociation of, "Water cleaves to earth." with respect to the rest of its stanza is again gifted ambiguity. Its imagery of change given as trade between, "yellow blades" and "green needles, extraordinary. Then the statement, "Water cleaves to earth", almost incantation. In the last lines, your gifted capacity for imagery (this one excelling) puts the reader back where the poem found him/her, flat in the middle of looking for reassurance that some of nature remains, "hold(ing) space safe at a blue distance". There is a conspiracy between you and your buddy to perplex the hell out of the voting this month. Did you save up all these grand poems, you two, just to do that? JCH

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