This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-04-22 23:29:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Cassiel Judge as you can not judge
This power beyond your reach
A cold heart is a closed heart
This my open heart has learned
Falling is easy
Getting up is not
Until fate steps in
Pounds on the doorway to consciousness
Leaving a gift to open and then
You appear in the new hour of the day
Gratitude follows each beat of my heart
This angel takes my hand
I rise to the sole strength in my life
Connecting as one
As not to be undone
To anything this day shall bring
No black, nor force or undeterred storm
Will leave me on my knees
Weak or shaky, pale or faintly defeated
In my meekness I’ve agreed
To withstand even more than ever before
While guardians of love tenderly show
The best of this world is yet to be
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Copyright © April 2007 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-05-06 01:11:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
DeniMari,
Lovely, uplifting, hopeful, strong, as I know you have it within.
Love yourself and be compassionate to yourself.
I'm most proud of you.
On shakey days pull this out and bolster yourself. This fits us all!
Be like a tree, rooted, bending, supple in the breaze.
My best to you dear friend,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-04-25 11:22:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
Hi Deni...this is an outstanding poem. There is something about it that goes straight to my heart.
No black, nor force or undeterred storm
Will leave me on my knees
Weak or shaky, pale or faintly defeated
In my meekness I’ve agreed
To withstand even more than ever before
While guardians of love tenderly show
The best of this world is yet to be
the above lines are exquisit and some of the best you have ever written. They show strength and determination which I believe you have. You have endured some sorrowful events, of late, you have risen about them with inner fortitude and grace. Wonderful poem....a standing ovation for this one!
Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-04-24 10:24:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Each suicide is a resignation to self-imposed limitation. In between that
extreme and bouts of sadness and momentary depressions all have come into
their lives, are mazes of ways to look at things. Challenging the values
of traditions whose supportable arguments steadily decline, gives a person
far more susceptibility to abnormally extended visitations of these two
"demons".
Through whatever medium: poetry, revisits of the past, people of inspiration
("angels", "guardians of love";) we come to find relief from such as, faintly
defeated/In my meekness (a superb line working at all levels)" we can be
truely "show(n)/The best of this world is yet to be". Have you thought of
finishing that line with, is yet to know?
The illiteration found in your line, "Weak or shaky,pale or faintly defeated"
is excellent and almost keeps one looking for internal rhyme.
A little more regard for meter and this poem would be a winning success.
But then I'm one to talk.
Enjoyed your poem immeasurably.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-04-23 11:20:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
DeniMari,
I can not possibly do justice to your poem with an interpetation, although I've enjoyed the read immensely. Your preserve and fortitude shine through, your faith your staff, your celestial love your strength and you will continue on undaunted to learn and become enlightened in the way of the path you've chosen. I applaud you for writing with such deep conviction and emotions and say thank you for reminding me than convictions while difficult at times must always be treasured.
Best always,
Lora
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