This Poem was Submitted By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2007-05-20 18:55:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Twilight Flight Charlotte is dark
now. Night fell as
softly as an angel’s wing
covering the East coast. Pin
dots in yellow, serpentine
on dim line drawings across
the land. Lakes of glowing blue
pool bright on the black horizon
as Everytown, U.S.A. lays in wait for
morning’s imperial purple edged dawn.
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Copyright © May 2007 Jana Buck Hanks
Additional Notes:
musings of my flight out of williamsburg, VA to Charlotte, NC the other evening....too bad I could not muse over the two hour delay there waiting to get back to Indy after driving 2500 miles from Tucson to Williamsburg!!! LOL jana
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-06-03 20:43:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana, being one who flies often for business, I sat back to listen to the sweet music of one looking, by proxy, through my eyes. I was not dissappointed.
I like the feeling of night falling on the east coast as "angel's wing" it adds a hen like feeling as she covers her chicks with her wing to add warmth. Counter that with the nightime coolness and you have a great contrast of emotion to actuality.
Your description of the lights, always one of my favorite views.. "serpintine" great descriptive; and your use of "dim line drawings" makes me think of the world below as an enormous Lite Brite- one of the favorite toys of my children (and mine- but don't tell anyone!!).
You take an enormous view, and personalize it to us all with "everytown u.s.a."; I know there are those who would consider it cliche' but at times it is the cliche' that provides the wisdom and warmth of hearth.
"Imperial Purple"; particularly of the Roman Empire, has always been a favorite of mine, so as I read I could sense the "edge" (edged) as if it were granted to paradise.
A wonderful view, simply scrumptious.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-05-24 16:47:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Jana....you have a plethora of lovely images in this poem. Your last line is breath taking and one I know I will remember for a long time. Sometimes I come across a poem or a line I wish I had written and your line does that for me. There is something so inspiring about flying at night when it seems the whole world is lit up just before landing. I felt as if I was sitting beside you enjoying the view. I was in Charleston, SC just a few weeks ago...such a beautiful place and packed to the brim with history. Love this poem...keep em comming!
Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-05-22 00:44:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana,
I was there.......through your words through your eye, I saw the sky.
Breathtaking the sunset in yellow/black/blue and purple.
I like the simple but complex beauty of nature.
You captured it well.
Good to hear from you like this!
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2007-05-21 15:00:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Jana;
absolutely love "morning's imperial purple edged dawn" what a wonderful description....you own it!
Thanks for a truly wonderful walk through your creative process..
Thanks for the plane ride....put your flaps down...extend the landing gear...eta of 2 minute..
you may now retrieve your carry-ons from the overhead
over and out..
your friend,
Gerard
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-05-20 19:41:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana,
This is simply delicious, you've given us a very picturesque view with your imagery. I can't find a nit one with it and wouldn't change a thing. I enjoyed your well flowing easy to read poem. I especially liked:as Everytown, U.S.A. lays in wait , sort of sums it all up. Glad your home safe!
Best always,
Lora
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