This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-06-28 01:44:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Stronger Than What I Can See

Damned seed of anxiety grows inside Like a coward out of reach to grab hold of and subdue You’re pure hellish on some nights To make sweat and internal fret of your choice Boundaries are not kept to the darkest hush of the eve I’ve seen you daily and loathe the first moment Of your arrival Like a trained thief you’ve stolen time from me Why do you bite at my peace of mind? Where do you hide while I rest? Never invited in, but you come anyway And take pleasure at watching me pace You’re an army of distress In combat with my soul No laws written against you, or in favor of me To rid myself of your constant glare Damn seed of invisibility born from the lowest form Prayers and pleas to what that you go  Times millions to rid me of your woe

Copyright © June 2007 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-08-01 21:11:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi DeniMari, I can relate to this work so so well. I was victum of anxiety attacks for years and you have written this with so much knowledge of it. They say ones best work is from what you experiece and the reader can tell that this is honest and raw from you and your experiences. I remember talking to the anxiety (myself) and fightning to break free..you feels as if you are sinkng into blackness..anyway, enough of that. "Why do you bite at my peace of mind?" is one of the questions..and it does feel as if the anxiety feelings have become formed into some kind of creature of torment. I did the praying the pleading and did feel as if in combat with my soul, and that no one truly understood. I am now pretty well free from this demon, because of life changes etc. but at the time..oh my God..I thought I would never break free. Powerful voice here, and thanks for sharing this for it might make people a bit more aware of where this hell takes its victum.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-06-28 23:04:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
DeniMari, I think I've written a letter of this sort at one time. Man are there some people you wished you had never met. Pure torture is what I hear from this piece. Damn seed of invisibility born from the lowest form Why do you bite at my peace of mind? Some guys want their cake and eat it too. This fellow knows his effect on you, so he tortures you with it. The cad! He loves your reaction. Big reaction/you care No reaction/you don't care. You play into his hands........ So as long as you play,he will continue, till you say NO MORE! It's in your hands Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2007-06-28 11:39:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I can really identify with this one. I wrote one several years ago called Creeping Doubt. I'd like to email it to you. This really speaks to the helplessness in the face of uncontrolled emotion. You have some great lines here, "Why do you bit at my peace of mind?" That really nails it, and "You're an army of distress." Just wonderful. Hopefully this accurate portrayal banishes the thief for a while! Thanks for submitting this! KenP
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-06-28 10:22:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Denimari....this is a compelling poem...once I began to read there was no way that I could abandon it. It is powerful but also has such a melancholy feel about it. Anxiety and or depression can fill the soul and pray on our minds with seemingly no respite. I think you are speaking to that here. You have excellent word choices that express this 'damn seed of invisibility' very well. You have written it entirely without puncution and have let the line breaks do that for you. Some cannot accomplish this feat but I think you have been consistant and it works well here. If you are speaking of yourself, and I think you are, then my heart goes out to you. I have had these same feelings and they can be both mentally and physcially debilitating. My prayers go out to you. Well written and evocative poem. blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-06-28 10:01:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Deni, I really enjoyed this wonderful poem of an inner most feeling that you so elequently present the reader. Anxiety how is it created, why does one feel it, the body reacts in different way sometimes sweating and others pacing. So well is the presentation that I see an individual pacing, I sense the frustration, and feel the inner feeling. Well done. Great poem. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-06-28 02:29:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
So much stronger then any of us can ever see.....anxiety is hell, the pitts of pitts. having been there for fifteen years I know what your speaking of within these very well written lines. continue to put on paper all feelings associated with any feelings of anxiety and if you ever find the true cause of the origin take hold and let it go............I will pray that these feelings find an out soon and that life will once more be sunny and bright for you. Your words bring forth so many memories within my own lifetime.......and I can only pray they never return. Take good care, remember who you are, how strong you are, how much you are loved and most important of all that you are important to all that you know..............God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-06-28 01:51:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
DeniMari, You brought this reader along with each poignant statement, your poem grabbed hold and would not loose till ending. I understand the effects of anxiety too well, you've described them most aptly with your poetic verbiage and ease. No nits from me, admoration for such a fine offering. Best always, Lora
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