This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-07-11 09:37:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Onlookers

                  You just watch and read,                holding back your thoughts.              Unsure of the direction to take,             or if you have worth to contribute.                     Views          Politics                             Nature                 Int            ........               ed                     er         ........           sent                         esting ideas are pre                                                     life lived to it fullest;                             not shared                                to most                                 If                                silent,                               thoughts                              fall on deaf                                 Ears……                                  As                                  if                                 they                                 never                                existed.

Copyright © July 2007 Thomas H. Smihula

Additional Notes:
We don't bite just speak our minds....


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-08-04 14:12:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, an intersting form. I am not a form guy myself, but this one was quite unusual. The topic at hand; I spent some time looking at your form and trying to hyphenated it with the meanings you speak to. "onlookers" is a fine title, sets the subjects- and the subject matter in a single word. After reading this several times I wondered of an individual or cumulative occurance that would have sparked this piece, or if it is a general observation throughout life. YOu don't say, and that might be a good idea. You comment you use "WE"- leaving a bit of mystery once more as to what the perspective was caused by. I guess, for me, I will assume we are all "Onlookers"- and you have chose to speak for us all.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-07-22 17:09:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, How apprapo, and perhaps it is something one of us should have done sooner though I doubt we'd have done quite as good a job. Excellant, it speaks volumns, perhpas it will net some of those fish passing by. best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2007-07-20 11:01:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
some choice words to live by here. but sometimes dont you wish some people (who talk out of their azz) would just shut up? lol. but you hit the nail on the head here. live life to the fullest. very nice. charlie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-07-17 02:48:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good morning Poet......interesting presentation within the lines of this one......form should receive nomination alone.......I guess in some form we are all onlookers in one way or another; sometimes we are afraid to speak our thoughts even on line for fear of being rediculed.....the feeling of knowing someone is reading your work is nice yet the joy of seeing their response to your work is uplifting and very reqarding; at least to this poet it is. As long as we don't bite, just speak our minds perhaps others will be able to join us in our venture through life and that would be grand. Once more, your work speaks for itself as it is well presented and the flow of your words allow reader to venture in more then one direction. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-07-13 10:17:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Interesting structure to suggest the inviting participation to fill in blanks. In context, a design easily understood. The analogy with the fall of a tree in a deserted forest is a good note to end the appeal upon. "or if you have worth to contribute"...yes, a well positioned challenge and one that should offend no one. But it will, but well. And so be it. Someone should have thought of this long ago. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-07-11 22:24:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
this is so true..I like the shape poetry form you used here. and it is so true.. If silent, thoughts fall on deaf Ears…… As if they never existed. enjoyed this Thomas...that's how I feel some of the times and it is universal I think.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2007-07-11 21:49:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Thomas, A creative light hearted piece to hook in the 'onlookers' - those much desirable 'touch' and 'go' types who aren't buying what we're cooking. We just dont sell ourselves. TPL doesn't sell itself. Hopefuly, initiatives such as yours will begin a series of attempts to net the 'onlookers'. Thanks for posting. Duane.
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