This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2007-08-03 01:47:40 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
MAGNETIC FORCES It follows me so closely
Setting a pace so fast
I believe I have conquered.
That devil in disguise.
In the lonely moments
When no one else is there
The allurement of it's power
Overwhelms my daily fate.
No matter how I promise
With a heart that’s pure and true
It finds me at my weakest
And takes me once again.
At one instant so strong
Yet forces take control
My strength is in others
Why can’t it all be mine?
Darkness is it's fate
Ready for me to die
Enthralling and illusive
Yet shame is all that’s now.
I reject to let it haunt me
No matter how it tries
To take me to the bottom
I only want to survive.
Help!
|
|
Copyright © August 2007 Debbie Spicer
Additional Notes:
A simple but powerful poem many people are haunted with.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-08-12 16:37:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Debbie....this is a very haunting poem that touched this reader to the core. I have not sustained the same trauma as you but the loss of my husband still haunts me when I least expect it. So I guess it matters not what haunts a person it only matters that they deal with that emotion and even when you think it is gone it raises its ugly head once again. This is a well written poem with good word choices and the word "help" at the end is stunning....I did not expect that. Even though it is written in free verse it has a cadence that is pleasing though the melancholy theme is almost too painful to read. You did an excellent job with this poem....keep them comming!
Love....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-08-11 17:34:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I read this twice to get the full meaning of your words. Deep! I love deep! It's as though you struggle with your own thoughts of lonliness. I am sure we all have experienced this, some more than others and I have had my share.
Nice write!
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-08-07 22:20:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Debbie,
There are no words to describe better than you have, depression; soul sucking desperation that seems to be an endless pit with no visible way out....Well penned, no nits or changes suggested from this reader only heartfelt empathy. Thanks for the post, and for the reminder that non of us are alone.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-07 10:27:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Debbie,
I remember so well when you first came to this site and the depth of emotion you displayed. You make a reader feel that hurt that as haunted you and no matter what one does it always comes forward into play. Life plays its tricks but has moments of peace that we can relish in. I felt the sadness inside this piece and it fits so many.
Well done. Thanks for sharing enternal feelings that is what poetry is all about expressing them.
Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2007-08-06 21:46:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Debbie,
It's great to see you posting again and re-assuring to know that your faith in the power of poetry as an outlet for sorrow and hardship, is still strong.
The poem is definitely powerful and emotion runs deep within the words of resistance in the face of adversity. Your poem is universal and blankets all of us who have had our share of darkest nights and to those who are currently experiencing theirs. However, what is uplifting about this piece is that it serves to encourage all those who might feel that they are unable to 'reject to let it haunt' them..And yes, to all who want nothing more than to survive.
Keep writing !
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-03 06:58:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Indeed poet a very powerful poem that does haunt many in many different ways. The world is filled with magnetic pulls and the directions are wide. This poem brings forth images of those who suffer with anorexia and buolemia, that is one illness I believe will always have a pull on the person it attacks; the forces of control that take over you cannot run from, hide from and you are fortunate to live through it; the same goes with gambling........something that starts out as innocent and fun can turn and destroy a relationship before you are even aware of it; then the road leads to drugs, alcohol, sex, you name it this poem has touched on it in some way or form. Well presented, words that allow for images to come forth, for memories perhaps to take hold again and for the beast to once again roam on its own. I am certain there are many who will find something of themselves within the lines; I do.........thanks for posting my friend; I too miss those who have left us like Jo, Mell , Arnie and perhaps a few others along the way; they touched our lives and we will always hold them dear to our hearts. Take care, nice to read your work again, God Bless, Claire
Never forget your strength lies with God who is always by your side.....
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!