This Poem was Submitted By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-08-21 06:03:19 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Enduring Love What we say can make one's day
Then select your words with care.
Unless one chooses well of verse
The eventuality is a sad universe
‘Tis this thoughtless thing you do
That dims this dialogue of mine.
A love gets lost amidst the battle
Love will sour as uncorked wine.
Spoken words cutting to the core
Just as one can not change the sun.
Nor, can these odd words restore
The pain that others shall endure.
If your words please your tongue
Assuredly one feels warmhearted.
With care in meaning you will see
Nurturing love's intertwine motif. |
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Copyright © August 2007 Paul H. Roefs
Additional Notes:
We all know how precious words are in shaping relationships and making friends.
The power of words and the warm loving kind of words are your choice.If one is
to have a enduring love relationship, words will play a very important roll in
shaping that relationship. Donpablo, a.k.a. Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-09-04 09:05:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95000
Paul,
Yes words are important in nuturing the relationships between individuals, and you have stated that elequently in this piece. Silence can also play an important role if invoked at the right time depending on the moment. Many of the words that seem sincere yet have no meaning at all as time moves forward, this is the part to me is missing showing that there are two ways in which words are expressed those that have meaning. I like what you have stated yet there is so much more depth to this topic and I want more. Just this readers opinion. Good poem it makes me think. THomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-03 20:15:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76471
Paul,
You are so very right. Words are so very important in any relationship and or any friendship. I like your thought here as especially now at this time in my life, I understand this fully. Thank you for the read.
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-28 03:24:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
We have all been hurt in some way by what people say without thinking.....I know I have and words are hard to forget at times. Enduring Love, indeed a good title for this one knowing that relationships need to be carefully tended, like the early seeds that we plant in our garden.......we try to make sure the weeds are plucked and taken away and we watch in awe at times the beauty as it grows before our own eyes. Relationships and making friends needs to be treated with the same care and you have stated that so very well within these lines. Thanks for posting, always good to find your work. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-08-21 16:43:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Paul....you have poetically stated what is wrong in the lives of many...or one could say, what is wrong in our world today. So many people are thoughtless and say the first thing that comes into their minds never wondering how it may sound or who it makes feel bad. The fist time I read this poem I was a little put off by the inconsistant rhyme. The first stanza rhymes the last two lines..the second stanzas rhymes the second & fourth lines...the third stanza rhymes the first and fourth lines...and the fourth stanza doesn't rhyme at all. However, when I read it a second time the flow was even and the rhyme has an appealing sound. You have made good word choices and you are consitant in using 7 syllables per line. A very good and thought provoking poem.
Marilyn
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