This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2007-08-30 00:13:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The strife to prove I am healed  From the events which stabbed my heart.   The ghastly torment I suffered severe    Told to forgive but anguish persists. When raped and tortured no time can convince  The identity of the sorrow I have endured.   Anger and rage walk on despite    Any help I pursue to find some peace. God will forgive but I have not forgot  The blood and plague, which consumes my soul.   My body a product of disgust and sorrow    I am never rid the days of agony. I plead for amity one day soon  Walking on to find I hope to prevail.   Trauma takes each to the purpose of end    What brings me back to belief in Him? It haunts me today as it occurred  Many years later yet just as real.   Never would I do this to anyone    A gift that keeps on giving no matter the price.  

Copyright © August 2007 Debbie Spicer

Additional Notes:
Truth from a wise friend.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-03 20:49:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76471
Wow! Your words speak for so many, especially in the earlier days of middle aged people. When we were children, it was never spoke about and if it ever was, nothing happened except make it ten fold worse on the child, both from the attacker and the person the child confided in. Yes, it is the *gift* that keeps on giving though I wouldn't consider it a gift. I enjoyed reading your words. Rene'

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-08-30 17:33:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Hi Debbie....this doleful write, while beautiful in the manner in which you wrote it, limns the constant grief you have endured. I know you will never forget the trauma as it will be with you for all your days but the grieving will come to an end and probably when you least expect it. I can only just imagine what that horrible event is like to live with...I have endured trauma and grief but never to this magnitude. I think being a cancer survivor has served to make me stronger but when I lost my husband I thought I would never recover as I felt lost and alone. You have written this so fact I could easily feel your pain as I read the words. Your last line...."A gift that keeps on giving no matter the price" is so powerful and a perfect way to end this piece. Very well done. Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-08-30 12:13:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
First off, Debbie, do not end any poem with a cliche', especially one of this intensity. Here we have a cry of help. We have the paradox of what one has every right to expect of life and what one woefully too often gets. I would imagine I cannot imagine rape and that its aftermath suggests its own form of "combat trauma". And the ensuing struggle to regain normalcy...which never fully may come. It might help though, if you came to terms with Him on the issue of free choice. Acknowledging that meaninfulness is lost without it, it does carry the aspect of a two-edged sword. You may search for answers but they really don't exist beyond this. There are those, both men and women, who cannot in the least consider the plight of others as they reach for what they want, stepping on others. In the sickness that can rationalize in the rapist's mind, "they all really want it" is the same narcissism that can acquit even a mother's duty to her child, because she's not "getting enough love and affection". This is a negative balancing act, to be sure. But you might use it to avoid cutting yourself off from life's possibilities, perhaps when you may even need them most. And let this pass the best way you may. For it is a growth without fruit. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-30 09:35:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Debbie, Now I feel present within this piece, no holds barred the leaf removed. This does show me depth and gives me more to focus about. It brings a moment that never leaves the mind although it can be placed into a different mode. You are right it will never go away and the hurt will always be felt yet life does go on and by releasing it your chances are better. Well done. Your friend, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-30 07:59:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
Good morning Debbie....breaks my heart to read this one and the pain that still has you all wrapped up in tight knots. Indeed, you are the only one who knows the torment, pain, suffering that you endured, I can only visualize it from your other work presented here over the years. You should not have to prove to anyone that you are healed from the torment and events that stabbed at your heart for I do believe this is a very personal journey and you are the only one that matters. Yes, the Lord does forgive those who are truely sorry for the pain, suffering, sins committed on others; It is most difficult to put the images aside and hope they never return to haunt you.....for they do and perhaps they will continue for some time to come. Know in your heart though that the Lord is there with you and He will continue to walk beside you as this journey to healing continues. I think this is a good write Debbie, it is well presented with all the emotions you still have deep within and that need to come to the surface so you may empty them out. My prayers continue to flow your way knowing you are someone special and worth loving so much. Miles may separate us but our hearts keep us close. God Bless, Claire
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