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This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-10-09 03:24:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Real Me

I'm afraid Scared inside Yet, my feelings I well hide Worried thoughts Tears I hold Inner pain Left untold Panic grips My heart tight As I weep Alone at night How I got here I don't know Yet, my fears Will never show Those who read The words I write Share the secrets Of my fright Face to face You'll never see The real person trapped in me

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-04 16:53:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
I think this is a common sentiment, that we're capable of hiding our inner selves, or, conversely, incapable of allowing others to see what really needs to be seen to actually "know someone." The poetic question is, it seems to me, what is in there worth knowing? So, poetically, can you tell us? Crying at night: why? What historical sequence of events has led to this fact? Is there a metaphor in that/those event/s? Can you use it to write more effectively about your "reality"? I'd like to see some of that stuff. What you've done here is piqued our interest; now you've got to deliver the goods, or you're just another observant writer. We've got plenty of them. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-10-30 22:08:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Rene, The real afraid-ness is inside all of us, believe it or not. If I look in the mirror I'm afraid of the unknown, being alone, being unlove, suffering, dying, needing help and it won't come, being poor.etc. I think communicating with each other helps us feel united as we truly are. We feel so separated today, yet these are the times we should support each other. I like the person you project. Humble, unafraid to show your humanity. Bless you, Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marsha Steed On Date: 2007-10-24 08:43:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene, when a poet offers so much of themselves in a piece, it makes it difficult to critique it in an unaffected and grammatical manner. This is one of those pieces. Instead, I'll offer impressions and what it elicits in me, a simple reader. Sometimes that is what the purpose of poetry is after all, to connect beings who have no other connection otherwise. I think we have all felt 'alone' and un-understood at times. Inside each of us seems to be a place where we feel no one really 'gets'. I know I do. "I'm afraid Scared inside Yet, my feelings I well hide" This section is so easy to relate to. Don't we all wear masks of sorts? Ones we put on in the morning and wear through our daily lives so that no one really gets a chance to 'know' us as we truly are? Again, I know I do. "As I weep Alone at night" Since my divorce, time has healed much of the weeping, but I well know those times, the silence engulfing my pain and the feeling that there wasn't a soul on the earth I could turn to. It is a very dark and frightening place. "Those who read The words I write Share the secrets Of my fright" Isn't this the crux of WHY we write at all? I know for me, writing was my balm. It was my healing ointment when nothing else would help. In 'person' I had to keep up appearances, go on with day-to-day events and responsibilities, but when I put words on paper (cyber pixels?) I could be honest to my agonizing heart. This is the beauty of poetry. Somehow we can share, what we can not vocalize. . . and it helps. You are not alone. M

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-10-17 10:50:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene', A strong write with good meter and rhyme, simply and powerfully you've stated what I think is so true of so many of us, perhaps that's why we write. You've offered a piece that I'm sure many can relate to and you've put it is a form that makes it palatable both in spoken word and mind. Brava! Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-10-15 19:12:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Rene, Thank you for your revealing your sad, tormented soul of despair, as I weep for your sweet struggling heart. Your imagery in just great and the words carry the reader into sense of pathos and desire to understand and see you free this heavy wrenching pain that haunts you. Never letting go through the day and into the lonely nights. I often wonder how many precious tears are required to flush away ones. I wrote a poem titled, "Words Are The Mortar of life," but it is not only words that crush the beauty and spirit, deeds and events that rob us of who we are and our pursuit of happiness, that impact the more measurable harm. Recovery is slow and difficult at best and only the harmed know the whole truth. The doubts prevails and can rip you apart , just when the surf seems calm and the storm looks less threatening. To sleep and dream of happy moment again. A simple request comes very seldom. Your courage show in every word you write and we many never see the real you as you said, "You'll never see the real person trapped in me." This is so true, but I want you to know, I believe in you and in your destiny to win over all your adversity. Thank you for sharing. Good poem and very a great job. God bless. With love, Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: Naome James On Date: 2007-10-12 17:08:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This was a wonderfully written poem. I love the shortness and directness of each line and the emotions seem to flow as well. Sometimes we all hide from our selves but once we put the pen in hand, the inner self comes out with a stand. I look forward to reading more of your work. quatro

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-10-10 11:38:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
The Real Me......should perhaps allow a trace of the trapped you inside to come out and perhaps you might find a way to freedom that you so well deserve. The pain one feels as you pen your words, the emotions running high as you try to escape the inner prison of what life has already delt your way. Always well penned and perhaps this one may be of some help to others in the same position to know they are not alone in their prison. Thanks for posting, enjoyed the read if one could say something like that about such a hard emotional piece. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-10-09 16:50:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Rene'....I like the form you used to write this poem. The short staccato delivery is very effective. It was easy to feel your emotions in this piece. Each line is important to the following lines...you use consistancy and some end rhymes to engage your readers and it works well. It is so true, even when people, friends or family say I know how you feel they never will be able to feel YOUR pain even if they endure a similar event. Your pain of loss is yours alone and will not be shared which, of course, means you and you alone are the one who will rise above the pain and begin to heal. A well written poem that limns the poet's dispair....well done. Blessings....Marilyn

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