This Poem was Submitted By: Naome James On Date: 2007-10-12 17:39:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Life's Window

Gazing through my transparent window at the gray-tainted sky I watch as the cumulus clouds roll in the wind. Soon the rain will dance and bring the cold that warms my inner soul and causes my heart’s content. As anticipated, I am content. My warm breath clouds my window. I’m gladdened at the thought my soul will no longer linger aimlessly and watch and wait for what the rain will bring. Then with gentle force arrives the wind. Through the clouded glass I watch the wind as it whistles through the trees.  I am content. As I expected, the falling rain did bring the cold and I touch the frosted window with my finger.  I draw a heart and watch the watery mist slide down my glassy soul. I exhale a sigh at the mirrored image of my soul and grab a throw as I shiver with the wind. Confinement only allows me to watch the seasons change my world and its content. Yes, living through a stained glass window puts a glare on what life might bring. Then I wonder what the ever after will bring when my time here has ended and my soul has drifted through my blemished window and fluttered on the whispers of the wind. Silently, as the hours tick on the watch of father time, I reflect on my life’s content. In the gloaming, while recounting the content and validity of my existence, I boldly bring with me the serene yet solemn vow.  I will not watch life trickle away or accept that I am without body or soul. I am the air that I breathe.  I am the brisk wind blowing cold leaving condensation on your window. Life, not measured by content or weight of the soul gently blows in the wind in the end.  And nothing can bring it back through the window of existence, as I secretly watch.

Copyright © October 2007 Naome James

Additional Notes:
This poem is written in sestina style where six words are used and repeated in a particular order and format then all the words are used again in the last three-lined stanza. This was my first attempt at this style and there soon will be others, as I have learned to enjoy them.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-04 16:43:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
These sestinas get kind of crazy. I've attempted several, and find them interesting. There's some famous ones, and those are fabulous. Perhaps you've seen them. The trick seems to be choosing words that don't allow you to keep saying the same thing. In other words, end-words that allow you to have multiple meanings. And that's not easy. I find yours a bit tedious. I think the form is difficult to do well, and easy to get wrong, or at least not "right." Nothing against this effort, it's honest, it's heartfelt, and as its circularity recommends the form, I hope you, and others here, will experiment with it. The form requires tremendous skill to come off well. I appreciate the effort. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-10-24 21:43:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Naome, Cloud, watch, content, soul......more some of the 6. I like the style but it's also like beating the thought over and over. The thought is good but it begins to bore me with repeating. You followed the style, maybe it was fun.... You did a good job, I just need to get use to it. Keep on, Dellna
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-10-16 03:13:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Naome, This is a wonderful writing and you have guided your pen in a most skillful manner. I like the theme and you have written each stanza so as to bring your reader smoothly the the poem's conclusion. Not being familar with this style, sistina, I can not comment, except to say that I don't think I could do it. Thank you for bring the style to PTL , because that is how we learn from our fellow poets. Very Good poetry, with wonderful imagery. This stanza is my favorite, "Then I wonder what the ever after will bring when my time here has ended and my soul has drifted through my blemished window and fluttered on the whispers of the wind. Silently, as the hours tick on the watch of father time, I reflect on my life’s content." Thanks again. Best to you. With love, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-10-12 20:42:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Welcome to TPL and for posting your poem written in sestina to me so I am pleased that you added notes. I might add it certainly did bring much to view with the flow of your pen and the images presented. For a first attempt at this style it appears you have done a wonderful job and I do look forward to more of your work being posted on TPL. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-10-12 19:21:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Naome, BEAUTIFUL!! I am known to have short attention span when reading at times but this kept my interest to the end. Your words paint such beauty and seem as though they were MEANT to be penned. I loved the line, Through the clouded glass, I watch the wind. You paint a picture that read like a movie in this poets mind. Welcome to TPL!! Looking forward to reading more of your work!! Seriously!! Rene'
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