This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-10-17 22:01:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Moving Time A Moment passed by
Before it was noticed
And then another…
Both being parts of a minute
Which are portions of an hour
Too soon a day had passed
Followed by a week
Fast after a month departed
To quickly a year went by
A measure of time had all gone away.
But to where…….?
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Copyright © October 2007 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-11-05 20:41:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dellena,
Always you take the step to the point. “but where to?†now there is a crux that should dominate, or hide within the places yet to be or already traversed.
You manage to isolate the continuity of time, of living- and with one word “portions†you use such duality.
I usually avoid the passing, or maybe I embrace it.. at any rate- it is moving and where I am or will be ,... is as you say – is.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-04 16:00:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Seems a bit wordy and with misspellings loses its impact.
I also think that it's okay to end with a question,
but it's a cop-out. We don't want to answer questions.
We want you to give us answers.
Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-10-18 11:09:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Well done with Time......enjoyed the read for your words flowed, I was able to watch the clock and see those few minutes tick into hours and then I get lost in my thoughts of what have I actually done in this past year........so much has happened and you do wonder how it all came about. Interesting read, nicely presented. Hope you are well. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-10-18 02:47:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Dellena,
I've been looking for your poetry an here you are with these clever words on time. I love what you have done here and it is so true how one can procrastinate the moment until it is gone. I wrote a poem on time in July 2004, "Precious Time" you might enjoy it. One can not retrieve lost time, it is lost forever. How foolishly we squander our time, particularly when all we are given is one billion ticks of the clock to live. You ask the question, "but to where ......?" We should all try to answer this poignant question. Thank you for reminding me. Your words reflect your hard work in layout and writing this poem. You drawn the reader's attention to your purpose and your words are appropriate to your theme. Nice job. My very best to you. With love , Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-10-18 00:35:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena,
OMG how engrossing a thought and how cleverly written, the time seems to go so quickly and to where? You've echoed the thoughts that dance in my head each day when I look at my list of what I didn't get done...phew! Wonderfully easy flow, very deep, a most enjoyable read.
Best,
Lora
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