This Poem was Submitted By: Monica ONeill On Date: 2007-10-18 19:40:44 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Just Another Halloween Slinky, slivery
Round the bend
On creaking porch
I meant to mend.
Ghostly creatures
Fangs well bared.
Doorbell rings,
Anyone there?
On hinges rough
The old door creaks.
The bravest ghost
Leans in and peeks.
A timid voice
“Trick or treatâ€
Contemplating
A quick retreat?
Pussy cat
Picks now to leap
In candy bowl
With all four feet.
Tootsie Rolls
In winged flight,
Walmart ghosts
Depart in fright.
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Copyright © October 2007 Monica ONeill
Additional Notes:
Hi all, I suppose almost everyone in the world knows Walmart. Tootsie Rolls were my mom's favourite candy to give out on Halloween, sort of like a chocolate cigarete that didn't smoke but it seemed you could chew forever. Anyway, I thought I'd try my funnybone...it has been on a sabatical. Happy Halloween all...
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-11-05 21:46:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Monica,
Cute poem. I think of Arnie ever so often. Hope your doing well.
I believe you have the moxie to survive.
My best to you,'
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-04 16:19:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Moni,
Looks like you had Hallowed Fun.
We had a few kids on a quiet night.
Are you in Vancouver, BC?
Somewhere up there?
Hope all's well.
Nice to read you again.
Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-10-23 15:40:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Moni....what a delightful poem this is! I remember tootsie rolls...are they still around? You have an excellent rhyme scheme that makes this piece even more fun to read. Good word choices and flow...well done and happy Halloweenie to you too!
Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-10-19 09:35:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Monica....what a delightful read....tootsie rolls always fill my Halloween dish just in case I have leftovers.......hehehe.....loved the images you created with the flare of your pen and the cat jumping into the candy dish made a big splash.....Yes, we all know WalMart and this year the costumes seem to be hanging for us bigger kids as well. I know there is a party I could go to tonight if I wear a costume but my daughter tells me since I won't cut my hair I could go as myself, hehehe.......your words rhyme very well and it is so good to see you posting again. I do think of you often, you are in my prayers. Take good care, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-10-18 22:57:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Moni,
This is just delightful, perfect in meter and rhyme and so enjoyable. Glad you still have your funny bone and WOW, I could just visualize the cat in the candy, the kids screaching and running...what a hoot. Well done and thanks for the uplift this evening.
Best always,
Lora
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