This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-11-17 14:38:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Mortal Wings I seek a life without the fray
like lovers seek a sated grail
If empty seas still wash away
I want my ship of promised sail
I pray my heart to keep, not fail
I hold the swirl and ache of rue
my mortal wings are still and frail.
When faith bestows our souls renew.
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Copyright © November 2007 marilyn terwilleger
Additional Notes:
This is a Huitain poem. Eight lines each with 4 stress. Rhyme is ababbcbc
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-04 09:51:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn,
I always enjoy the different styles of poetry and the thought that is still communicated to the reader from the words. To maintain a structure and still present the thought is the gift. Well written poem.
Thanks for sharing really enjoyed seeing a new format, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-11-30 01:19:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
I am not to hip on which poems are what kind (named) either way, this piece is breath taking. Like a prayer to yourself. Great job on this one poet. Defiantely a Hallmark read.
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-11-19 21:10:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
I know most all of us want calm, peace, and love.
[true friendship, true concern and caring.]
My heart aches as yours.
We are living in such frightful times. Everything we believed true is untrue.
Faith bestows? Faith is hoping praying, whats true is true, we can wish but the proof is the reality.
That noone cares to face.
I hope myself.........
You did good, much enjoyable and a thoughtful job.
Dellena
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