This Poem was Submitted By: Deborah L Bird On Date: 2007-11-20 07:04:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Ticket in her pocket she was waiting by the stream,
daydreaming
thinking of times gone by
times yet to come
her only love gone now
forever
time and again they pondered this
it was decided that
whomever was left here
would carry on the love
shared by both
a love that encompassed two worlds
in her jacket pocket she felt the ticket
she knew that this was the day
the day to return to the place they had
loved so very much
but it was right to leave everyone
and run to that hauntingly beautiful
place they shared together
where their love was one
she had thought of this day
mant times in the weeks past |
|
Copyright © November 2007 Deborah L Bird
Additional Notes:
sigh,well as some of you know here on tpl.deb passed away earlier in the year,this is michael her husband posting this.i found this poem in some of her papers,and since today would have been her birthday,i thought it might be nice to post it as this is probably her last work,unless i find more hidden about,yes,it is unfinished ,i was going to finish it but i would not have known what deb might have said,so i thought it best to leave it unfinished,and those that choose to read it can reflect on the words for a moment and wonder how it might have ended.this is very hard for me to post this,and it might be awhile before i log back on to read the critiques.so please understand that you are not being ignored.maybe christmas day or new years i will come back to look at the comments.thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts and comments to deb while she was here on tpl,it gave her a great sense of accomplishment and a driving force to write more.god bless
peace and light,
michael
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-04 11:34:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thank you Michael for allowing us to see the thoughts she shared with you and the love you two shared. This is definately a tribute. Thanks again, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2007-11-27 14:20:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Michael,
If this is close to Deb's last work, then I think that at some subliminal level she knew she was leaving.
That this was completely directed at you, her husband is evident, as though she trusted that even with loss,
love would not be lost, rather span (be) greater then ever. This is shown in the words:
"whomever was left here
would carry on the love
shared by both
a love that encompassed two worlds"
Now in this line,
"in her jacket pocket she felt the ticket",
clearly she knew it was travelling time...the spirit no less prepares than the body, and using similar "facts" of transportation.
Here, the poet has no haunting guilt about leaving which indicates faith in others; and moves towards something exquisitely remembered, not weighed entirely by mortal realm.
"but it was right to leave everyone
and run to that hauntingly beautiful
place they shared together
where their love was one"
And again, the poet anticipates:
"she had thought of this day
many times in the weeks past".
I have been studying the lives of the poets, and it is not all that unusual for a poet to indicate
an intuitive divine of the future even unknownst to themselves; and what others can see only in retrospect.
In this poem, Debbie was gentle, resigned in a good way, and at peace with a faith that love did have meaning. The trip (her leaving?) seemed blessedly peaceful in anticipation.
I don't know if any of these comments are meaningful to you Michael? My Mother passed away two months ago
and perhaps I'm more sensitive then usual to what loss can mean.
Sincere condolences to you and family. The first christmas without a loved one can be bitter sweet in many ways. Thank you for sharing this with TPL.
Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-11-24 00:57:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Deborah's husband Michael,
How lovely, how sad. I'm so sorry your wonderful mate is gone.
I critiqued some of her poetry. She always shined of goodness, sweetness, love.
She was lovely. So sad life isn't a bit longer. Thank you for posting this, she was
part of the Poetic link family.
I pray she is in a good happy place. We will all reunite some day.
Blessings,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-11-21 08:14:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
Michael as difficult as it was to post this please know it is greatly appreciated for Debbie touched all of us here at TPL in one way or another......her work will live along with her memory forever in our hearts as well as in yours, just in a different way. The work may have been left unfinished yet her thoughts, and wishes along with her own memories and dreams are held within the lines, her words continue to flow and bring forth images for all to see and feelings to feel. May your holiday be blessed with her memories and love and may the Lord continue to hold you in His loving arms. God Bless, Claire
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