This Poem was Submitted By: Monica ONeill On Date: 2007-12-04 23:30:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
The Gateway he walks upon the waves
seeking
searching
following the craggy shoreline
studying
minds eye settles on a three sided bench
that was once a refuge
a meditation spot
a gateway between what was
and what is
she walks along the shoreline
seeking
searching
following the kiss of waves on rocky shores
sensing
fingers caress the weather worn surface
of a three sided bench
the place of voiced dreams
and varied conversation
now a place of memories
where words are still spoken
and dreams are still shared
across the gateway
between
what was
and what is
|
|
Copyright © December 2007 Monica ONeill
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-12-20 01:08:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Monica,
It sounds like you are in betwixt and between.
In away we all really are. Yours is more accented because of your deep loss.
It's like you must find out who you are alone. Not defined by anyone but yourself.
A pretty hairy place to be.
Holidays are so extremely difficult after a loss.
I pray you have a enlightening holiday that will bring you some peace.
You share your thoughts well in your writings.
They are sincere and loving and yes a bit sad.
Blessings,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-12-09 18:06:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Monica...
This is so heartfelt, sad, and full of longing. I love how you changed perspectives in the middle of this, offering yet another point of view. Nicely done. Your language is wonderful, as is the abundance of great imagery. This reader could almost "see" that bench, and feel the worn smooth edges, smell the salty air, and hear the waves. But, the last stanza really stuck out to me. Like the way it ends the poem in contemplation. An end, yet not. Very nicely done, my friend. Thanks for sharing what feels to be a very personal write. I enjoyed this one!
Best Always,
Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-12-09 02:18:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
A soft read Moni that touches one's heart and opens one's mind to life, death and what may come after. I do believe one is never far from us as their spirit is now free of pain and suffering here on earth and your words actually bring this image to life with the flow of your pen. Indeed, I can see Arnie and you walking this walk, taking those private talks, sharing a moment in time which is now only a memory but one held dear within the lining of your heart. I love to visit the ocean and walk the edge of the water, finding peace within this vast space for indeed it is a creation from the Hands of God.........may you find peace, love and joy this Christmas season..........may you always feel Arnie within your heart. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-07 09:29:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
I feel the depth and the memories within this poem. It is truly a reflection of times missed yet knowing there will always be a place to feel the past. Well done, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-12-07 00:08:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Monica,
Memories are beautiful. What was and what is. Yes, time changes alot of things, but to capture the past in memorance is truly a gift.
Rene'
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!