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The Awakening Luminous was the sky above a sickened soul as eyes searched for hope, there seemed to be none. The body had been washed with spoils consuming the essence of a meager soul. Awakening to a reality once ignored the spirit of truth spoke forcefully of death. Tranquility seemed an unattainable aspiration and droplets of contentment were misplaced. Smoky intimidations satiated all thoughts without sanity in the midst of a turbulent storm. The sky once lit with confident optimism became menacing wetlands without hope. Courage exploded, eradicating desperate thoughts carrying forth the variation of possibilities. Brief serenity brought deep expectations of the expanding desires of wholeness. Poison was abolished with desperate heroism of those who became the sustenance of truth. The shell has opened, the darkness is gone pushing back the shadows that once devoured. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-12-14 15:20:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Debbie....this is such an uplifting poem. Your first strophe sets the tone and I was afraid the ending would be doleful and depressing. However, you turned it around and made this a poem about hope and surviving against desperate odds. Your ending strophe is alive with optimism and gives this reader a welcome sigh of relief. It is obvious to me that you have weathered a damaging storm but with time and deterimation you have conquered all your demons. I praise you for that. You have written this so well, making careful word choices that limn your emotions. It is like you are suddenly bathed in the discovery of a world without pain and are alive with this new revelation. A very up-beat poem that is well written and evocative! Brava....marilyn