This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-12-06 19:38:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Whispers

Words echoed like a rolling brook Upon deaf ears of the stranger He thought he heard his name in the wind Though he stood in solace under the midnight clouds Star’s over head laughed in silence Teasing his senses as the breeze still whispered his name And his shadow stood still

Copyright © December 2007 Rene L Bennett

Additional Notes:
Everyones poetry here has such imagery and beauty that I which I could capture. So, I thought I would try something new. This is just an experiement poem...lol


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-01-04 01:34:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene, This is different. I at first had trouble trying to figure out the speaker, but I got it! This is a man, gone, standing among the stars, and moon...... hearing you call out to him, remembering him, and praying he knows that he's in your heart. He is not forgotten. Lovely Rene, Dellena


This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2007-12-24 01:15:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Rene, Something new and an experiment poem, you say. What you have done here is very good. Interesting imagery, and a nice progression actually leading to something unexpected. Done poetically in every regard. Only suggestion is, in such a short poem, you might use a title that contributes more interest and that adds to the substance of the poem more. I've had difficulty finding titles for my poems that do that, but I keep trying. Very good submission for the end of the year and one I've liked most of your submissions these last few months. Merry Christmas! Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-12-14 22:58:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Rene....it might be an experimental poem but tis a fine one! It is full of well chosen words that are placed in just right manner to make this piece full of mystery and beauty. Sometimes when we reach down inside ourselves we find a poem, like this, that begs to be written. Just like they write themselves and then we step back and wonder where it came from. This is a beautiful, evocative and poignant write. You are using a new voice which is a good thing and you have done it well. Brava! blessings...marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-12-09 02:35:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
For an expirement you certainly have captured what you were seeking poet, your words bring forth the images you seek allowing the beauty of it all to filter in. rolling brook, deaf ears, stood alone, midnight clouds, stars laughed in silence (enjoyed the twinkle in them as well) actually if you listen close to the wind it does speak out to us; probably tells us a little more then calling out our name but that is for another poem from your pen. Good job, thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-12-08 01:37:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Rene, Wow girl, I really liked this...many layered, thoughtful and vibrantly discriptive. Form and flow make this an easy pleasant mind teasing read...and there is a hint of mystery... roses to you. Best Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-07 09:26:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Your first line is great grabs the reader into the sound and vision seen. Some never get the chance to hear the meaning of the echoes and thoughts that are felt inside as the wind blows. These first three lines again capture this reader, the next two for me and again that is only me felt out of place yet I will have to read deeper to make sure of the meaning since maybe I am only looking at the surface. The last two lines are great again as one stands still reflecting upon the moment felt. Well done and enjoying to read. Thomas
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