This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-12-08 11:41:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Heaven's Moon

In days declining splendor’s lace when heaven greets the purple light, the shadow lamp becomes His face and angels’ carol songs of night. A candle owns the yellow flame, He slumbers in a berth of straw; the stars applaud His holy name and cherubs bow in silent awe.  In gentle birth of maiden snow, when earth is gowned in moonlit cape, He cradles warmth with halo’s glow and holds your spirit in His shape.  

Copyright © December 2007 marilyn terwilleger

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2008-01-07 11:36:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Marilyn, It is always the season for these thoughts. We should focus on his spirit daily and be thankful for what we have. This piece makes me think about the material things that have become part of the season and how so many other cultures have focused on what you have presented. Example the Sixth of January where many celebrate the three kings bringing gifts to the child that lay in the cradle. Thanks for sharing, Thomas

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-12-27 01:36:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, A nicely worded xmas poem. maiden snow, moonlit cape, halo's glow, all lovely. Happy new year, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-12-19 13:58:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, This is less accomplished than the other one I just critiqued. Two very fine, interesting lines though: "the shadow lamp becomes His face" and "A candle owns the yellow flame." They are both wonderful because they speak of the incarnation so powerfully and perfectly. There is a lot of power in this poem. On reading again I see other spots of bright light. The berth/birth pun, for example, and the the angels caroling "songs of night." My initial reaction was of the order of an intangible - the poem has convinced me otherwise. And yet still, still . . . MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-12-09 02:12:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Beautifully penned for this Holy Season poet, your words glow with the birth of the images, the feelings and emotions this one places within your heart as well. You can hear the Angels singing welcoming the Newborn KING.......Thanks for posting and brightening this world....God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-12-08 15:17:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn... This is stunning! All the beautiful imagery in this, along with some stellar language. The meter is wonderful, (a perfect iambic tetrameter), as is the rhyme scheme. The first stanza sets both the tone and the mood with perfection. (should "'" follow angels???)or is it me?? LOL! After reading this, I felt such a peace within myself! I can't even pick a favorite line or passage, without copy/pasting the entirety. Beautifully done, my friend. Thanks so much for sharing this one, I so enjoyed the read! My Best Always, Mary
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