This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2008-01-04 07:46:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A True Story

My Grandfather on my mother’s side was a dairy farmer He always smelled like cows He was also in the World War I  The Great War he called it In the living room of the old farmhouse he showed me his helmet It felt amazingly heavy to a boy of seven or eight I looked at a dent in the old rusty helmet “Was that from a BULLET?” His Camel cigarette jiggled as he chuckled ”Oh, I imagine I just dropped it.” “Did you shoot any Japs?” I asked He informed me they fought only the Germans in that war “What were you fighting about?”  He got a look somewhere between proud and embarrassed   then he said something that surprised “They told us we were fighting the last war,  the one to end  war……… We thought we were fighting so there wouldn’t be any more. So you boys wouldn’t have to"

Copyright © January 2008 Kenneth R. Patton

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-02-07 17:09:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kenneth, I enjoyed reading your memory of your granfather. I guess back in the WW 2 era, people really did believe they were fighting a cause to finally put an end to all wars. But who was to predict the future or the advancement technology has made since then. Though, it was a good idea and a great thought for those nack then truly fighting for the cause. It makes you wonder, will war ever be obsolete? I honestly don't think it ever will be. It never has been yet. Thanks for sharing your memory and making me think. Rene'

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2008-01-14 17:30:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Ken, This is a prose poem, actually only resembling a poem because you have used line breaks in a poetic fashion. It could be the theme of a short story, but even then, it needs individuation in order to find a place in memory. Many older people, from those generations that took part in the wars acquired unique characteristics, either in appearance or phrase or habit. The reader does not really know anything about your grandfather that makes him special. The tone and some of the words carry the affection between the grandfather and grandson, but what else can you tell us, how could this poem be given more depth, more show instead of tell? The theme is important, and hints broadly at the machination behind war. Perhaps even more significant now than ever before. That is the significance of this poem and worth saying better. Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-01-08 18:28:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Ken.....well written presentation of the memories of a young boy talking with his grandfather bringing to life memories that not only reminded him of the grandfather he knew and most likely admired but also the hopes of this grandfather about ending war for good........ bet your grandfather raised many cows and it is not surprising that your memory of the smell of cows was with him too......your words bring forth images of the farmhouse, the man who worked the land an the man who went to war.....my own grandfather fought in the Spanish American War...........my husband in the VietNam War and my son in law was one of the first to serve in Iraq......my own memories run in many directions as I read this piece and I know as each of our relatives and friends served in so many wars it was their one hope that this was te last war so you boys would not have to go and fight anymore.........Thank you for posting and sharing this with us and for the hope it brings that this may be the last war to be fought.........emotions are fille in this one too. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-01-08 14:28:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Ken....this is a wonderful story about your grandfather. Too bad that war did not end all wars. My husband fought in Korea but our boys were the wrong age when Nam came along. One of my grandsons was in Iraq for one year which I found very difficult to endure but he came home okay. Well I guess as okay as anyone can be that fights in a war. I like the way you told this story, it is interesting and very believable from the eyes of a child. Well done! marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-01-07 20:33:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ken, Wow, a story teller you definitely are and yes, I heard my father speak much the same way so I know it to be true. So poignant, if only they would have been correct, the war to end war... how many have given so much just for that premise.. There is a lot to be said for that period in time.. somehow things seemed purer and more honest not quite so sureal... I liked this very much, it gives one somewhat of a comfort zone if only briefly. Well done, no nits here. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-01-04 21:40:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Kenneth, Poignant, A war to end all wars! The last war! After realizing we were duped by our leaders that war and every single war since, it is galling. Dead men on all sides died to keep the world bankers rich. Your poem is good. It tells a truth from the view of a soldier. Soldiers are idealistic. They are brain washed to think, do, say, as they are told. This Iraqi war, the young me are killing themselves upon coming home after all the atrocities. Let's quit the warring.... We can live in peace. Dellena
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