This Poem was Submitted By: David OBrien On Date: 2008-03-11 11:27:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Blended Grace

Hands and feet, act in similar ways One for writing and clapping, the other running each day When working together, such a wonderful sight Coordinated beauty, like a swift bird in flight Roughness may set in, with extended hard use Regenerated in time, can work away, a callouse loose Always count your blessings, for the digits we are given Because the many just like us, statistics, and now driven
Copyright © March 2008 David OBrien

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-04-06 17:13:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
David, Any kind of mobility is such a blessing! To have hands/feet/coordination is beautiful to watch. It is a grace. And statistics we are but we don't need to label ourselves such. 'I say buck the odds'. Just be what you're meant to be. thoughtful..... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-04-06 00:18:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Hello David, Your first poem for me...and I feel a sense of depth here....yes, certainly...you are treading through deep waters with your philosophical writing...i like depth and the need to explore and analyse. I appreciate your use of rhyme...though would recommend some consideration for a 'slant' scheme to prevent the rhyme from coming across as forced.... Your poem begins with and continues through the middle to be an appreciation for the blessings of synchronisation of hands and feet..(you liken this to a bird in flight - i like this comparison - well done)....then, you mention that we need to count our blessings (bodily synchronisation and regeneration) and somehow...digits and statistics come darting in,...i guess this is your allusion to the loss of identity.....'we are all numbers'...this is where i lose your intent....it is not very clear. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-03-13 08:48:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
First of all Welcome to the link poet......and thanks for posting. Good title for this interesting read. I can relate well to it for my legs which used to walk six miles a day hardly walk at all now. Your words flowed into images even bringing forth a medical therapy team to help get things going again. Sad to say though some are now statistics, driven or cared for by others....yet, still active within their own limits. Looking forward to more of your work, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-03-11 15:28:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi David....welcome to TPL! I have read this poem several times and find it a simple message but written with eloquence and skill. I would have never thought of writing a poem about hands and feet but you have taken something as mundane as hands and feet and crafted a poem. I was looking for a metaphor but the more I read it the more I think it is what it is and nothing more. A thought provoking poem...well done... marilyn
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