This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-03-30 11:30:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Autumn Tambourines
Traveling down
this long road
Flipping pages
through my mind
The Autumn breeze blows
Through the trees
Shaking the leaves
like a thousand tambourines
As I watch the sun
reflect off the gold hues
In front of me
I feel complete
Into it's beauty I rest
An enchanting view
the hymns of Angels
Serenade around this sight
And I move on
from this
into the night
The pages still flipping
The night air is cool,
While I take a dip
into the mysterious pool
Of life. |
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Copyright © March 2008 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-04-06 17:17:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari,
The up's the down's. Thank god we have the good along with the bad.
I like nature and it does heal alot of wounds.
I like this, I would have broken it up into stanzas of sorts.
Keep dipping DeniMari.
'Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-04-02 19:54:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni,
Nice images, easy flowing although a bit prosey, still a nice read.
TC
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-04-01 11:22:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMarie, this is a by far superior poem than your preceeding two. I think your
plight and the way in which it relates to poems such as those places your focus
on more limitation, unsurprisingly so.
I enjoy this one, but not the other two...as well.
The title and how it's reflected in leaves shaking, brings to mind the lovely
nights of sleep at open window, to the sounds of wind through trees. A music
of sorts.
I like especially the lines, "The pages still flipping/The night air is cool,/
While I take a dip/into the mysterious pool".
Yes, this I like very much.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-04-01 08:51:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
You certainly are busy in your work these days and I might add all have been a joy to read. This one brings forth the beauty of the land and as we who are fotunate enough to watch the leaves turn shades of red, gold, yellow and orange, know what you speak of within the lines. I like the ending too as you take a dip into the mysterious pool of life.....so true.....each day is a new beginning and each road we travel a journey in itself. Thanks once more for posting and sharing your God given talent with us. God Bless, Claire
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