This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-07-14 17:28:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Blue What is more blue
than Van Gogh’s hues?
Maybe iris holding
dew sapphires,
or his starry, starry
night before sun
erases shadows
and replaces them
with lambent light.
Scents of lilac
afloat on night murmurs,
remind me of blue
and lifts my downs.
Every jeweled
drop from heaven
slices blue
when the sky unzips.
I told the moon
to wait while
blue bells brushed
my palms with cerulean
smiles.
They seem pallid
when knee deep
in Vincent’s sky.
|
|
Copyright © July 2008 marilyn terwilleger
Additional Notes:
Inspired by a poem Mell Morris wrote a long time ago.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-08-04 10:14:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
Wow, quite unusual from your regular style, great to see you expanding. I enjoyed your aptly discriptive language and the flow of this poem. Can't suggest any changes and can only say I hope you continue to explore this style. Bravo.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-08-04 09:49:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hey, another beautiful write Marilyn. So deep in imagery - fantastic descriptives with blue - which is my next fav. color after purple. Your poem creates a zen like feeling, with it's quiet soothing lines, that blend into blissful verses and relaxes the reader during the read.
I'm in awe lately; of some of your different types of poems - your work is well worth reading and I find nothing in this piece to pick at - or change.
Blessings to you,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2008-07-28 15:07:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I love this poem. So bright and the colors are all what I see when I read it. Excellent internal rhymes and things like "lambent light" lilt off the tongue nicely! Palms, pallid; blue bells brushed; all good examples. I also like the reference to hands and brushes, as a way of illustrating the work on the painter himself. Also, as I read it I found I could substitute "...Vincent's sky." with "Vincent's eye." and it would also work as a way of visioning the work of the painter himself.
Om,
Regis
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2008-07-20 18:38:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, such a sweet piece. To afford the sight a quality of scent- and what, indeed is the starry night but that splendid vision from within the sculpter.
Maybe iris holding
dew sapphires,- here is a view worth reading poetry. The inhalation of these lines make the piece a part of that starry night.
night before sun
erases shadows
and replaces them
with lambent light - most will miss the lambent light, the consonance of the line and the "shadows" weighing and waiting thier moment. Splendid, truly worthy of Van Goghs craft... and your contribution, a living, moving, response to creation.
blue bells brushed
my palms with cerulean
smiles - beautiful- I have always admired the active sweetness of a fine painting, the tincture- you have done well in this piece to match the creation itself.
Marilyn, one of your best as I see it. I find your vision of the craft to match the object. excellent. I can see Mell posting such living material.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2008-07-16 22:37:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
There is so much honour in this waltz of words. Being an artist, I am somehow genetically bound to Van Gogh's Starry Night with it dance of blue and gold rythyms. You too are an impressionist. With words you have painted a canvas of memory, and you have enfolded the words with a quiet passion running the colour throughout the poem, your theme consistent to the end. It is clean and a delight for the tongue to read.
I confess that 'hues'-2nd line gives me pause, but it's a small thing and probably personal.
A delight as I said! "knee deep in Vincent's sky' would have given him so much pleasure and amazement.-Almost as much as me.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!