This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-09-07 05:21:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Entirety

An integer integral to another   stars at once bright       then reduced to slumber Their paths between heaven   and earth begun to wander Stillness deems the deep fiercely   while suns flash unmeasured                         intensely Earth moves unheeding to law   All succumbs around to fill its void.

Copyright © September 2008 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-09-19 22:55:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
James, Had to read this several times, complex in it's simplicity; a good thing me thinks. Super coliders and men playing at creation or will it be the undoing of creation. Odd why man can not just let something be...too simple I guess. I enjoyed the read, liked your format and of course the verbiage here was the key; really makes one stop and think about what is being said. Keep speaking out. As always, your closing lines are the ones I like the best and are that little extra punch that puts the write over the top. Best always Lora


This Poem was Critiqued By: Gene Dixon On Date: 2008-09-11 17:19:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James - Not as enigmatic as your previous entry but...puzzling just the same (at least the first line) "An integer integral to another..." Let's see...an integer is a number; integral means essential to completeness - I think about that and my mind get stuck on "does that mean that 1 is integral to 11? And...so...what then? Well, I guess I'll let that stew awhile before going at it again. I'm getting these "flash in the pan" comparisons..sort of like one trick ponies (what happens when the one trick is done?) You've got that Earth/law thing right though...It seems that most of Earth - especially its more "civilized inhabitants - are getting more and more heedless of "laws." I like this but...I need more time to digest. Peace Gene
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-09-10 00:47:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi poet, interesting presentation of the sun and the stars.....your words certainly do bring forth images of the night sky, the beauty in the heavens on a star filled night and yet as they fade into morning light and the sun brightens the horizon the sun certainly takes over in its entirety. Thanks again for taking the time to share with us here on the link, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-09-09 14:02:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JCH, There are two really fine lines here: "Stillness deems the deep fiercely / while suns flash unmeasured." I just love that assonantal rhyme between "deems" and "deep." The fierce stillness and the sun flashing - everywhere power and intensity, even in the stillness. I can't say I have a firm grasp on this language and the thought it contains, which is part of the attraction. Anyway, those lines have a wonderful largeness of thought and expression to them. I suspect there is some scientific allusion at work in the last two lines - that they are true as a matter of physics or astronomy. Not my strong suit. Do you really want that "begun" in the last line of stanza 1? MSS
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