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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-09-12 14:14:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Blue Suits and Bibles

I have a painting, a condor-looking man. Tight, prim, blue-suited man. A book tucked under his arm, the other falling emptied taloned Falling from the severity of Great Depression fall Holy words, rapture, Divine intervention and all Falling amid dust only sometimes clattered up to give the light illusion Enough that I did not go back when Miss Culberson Added to my data...the man in blue was a Bible Salesman she could recall That stole a child's dinner on a hope and all I did not go back to capitalize â€œbookâ€.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-10-03 23:31:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I like this! I can visualize the painting....the condor look. I like the ending....... That stole a child's dinner on a hope and all I did not go back to capitalize â€œbookâ€. Hope and 'all' can be squelched by whats in the good book. I didn't cap it either. Good job. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-09-19 02:16:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
you certainly penned this one to come to life before one's eyes......Blue Suits and Bibles....interesting , reminds me of just the other day when a salesman stopped by to chat......sometimes Auntie was a better salesperson.....but then she did have the gift of gab.......thanks for posting and sharing, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-09-17 22:50:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, You reminded me of a movie called "Paper Moon", Southern beliefs and the bible belt...yes, so many would put what small amount they had into the hands of those selling a promise while often their children went without even to the point of a meal. Mind whirls at the thought of something that is supposed to be shared free of charged pandored for the benefit of others. The pictures you paint stay fresh in the mind, and your closing lines leave great emphasis on how easily we forget what befalls others...how truly diverse in culture/lifestyle our country is from state to state and yet how easily all can become prey for those selling a dream/hope. Best, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-09-17 21:37:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good write JC, not everyone that claims to be full of the spirit, dedicated and God fearing, are what they say. The world is full of hypocrites, that claim to be "something", no matter what it is - and aren't. I enjoyed your poem. Imagery, created the picture in front of my eyes; clearly could see the man, the book, the light - and clearly comprehendable to read without having to sift through the meanings of your chosen words. My best as always, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gene Dixon On Date: 2008-09-15 17:13:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James - Your poem brings to mind images of the "bible salesmen" going through the coal-mining town of my youth. They were as you described..."condor-looking, taloned handed, blue-suited purveyors of some misty dream...kind of like the snake-oil salesmen that usually came on their heels. They all came across as carrying on some monumental scam. That may not be what your poem is about but that's how it hit me and, I guess, that's the bottom line. We are all at the mercy of our reader's perceptions. It's a good read, from my perch (somewhere below the predators but a branch beyond the wrens) Peace Gene PS - Your response to my critique of "Entirety" opened things up for me. So...it was all about that "collidor" thing and men playing God. Now I get the point! I'm posting an old one of mine (Oppenheimer's Lament) that sort of deals with the same subject. I'd be interested in your take on it. Thanks Gene

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-09-15 10:15:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, Well, the highest complement I can pay this poem is that it triggered my imagination. Why? Two things. First, the portrait - based on another portrait that inspired it, a painting - of a man for whom an ideology becomes a tool. Unfortunately, not merely for the ennoblement of himself, but for profit, and the potential degrading of another human being because of the use of his tool - the child being deprived of dinner, and God knows what else. Secondly, the wonderful metaphor at the heart of it - the hand "falling empty taloned" from - this is superb - "the severity of Great Depression fall." It's not the idea of that metaphor so much, as the imaginative leap shown by the grasp of the device. Wonderful. Other things to note: interesting construction in "clattered up" and then the pun in "Light [as in both slight and illumination] illusion [a figment and an (a)llusion]." As always, you exhibit a subtle use of rhyme and assonance: man, taloned, Depression, intervention, illusion, Culberson. The main drawback I find with your poetry is that it often doesn't have the emotional or surface brilliance that grabs or possesses the reader. But my gosh there is always, always a depth of intellectual . . . your poems are a mine of meaning. If you could harness that wealth, or rather attach it to a team of beautiful horses that catch the eye and make the reader what to jump on the wagon - that would be formidable and turn your work up to the highest level. You have the resources and just need to perfect your transportation system. :) My past inability to connect with your poetry points to this aspect . . . as well as my inability to sufficiently pay attention to the depths in those deep shafts your poems open into. I am grateful to for your breaking open the surfaces of my earth with this one, and for generally being a reader and poet who challenges, and causes others to rise to occasions. I'm afraid I failed your test: I do not see any "flaws" in this - other than the general stylistic observation I noted above, which is not directed at this poem in particular, which works on so many levels. MSS

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