This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-09-18 01:02:46 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Broken Bridge

Mankind, loosely lives reasoning that life is forever and a day. Trusting promise of tomorrow; will be just as the sun rises endlessly. Our amount of time is never clearly defined. Illusion takes over common sense. Some dwell in cloddish tents,  centered on the hollow they follow. Living life; gathering reverse conclusions, To appease what ever notion they please. My notes spread out on years, to determine self; purpose  more are how to succeed with growing outwards, onward with higher peceptions to rock flimsy elementary foundations taught to me by bloody fools looking for conformity. My hands are waving as my thoughts protest  such notions being concrete. Spin me around a few times in wonderland So I can find out who; and where and what I am. I'll make a splash, into their private beach or puddle to pull up the stakes of their tents. My desire in life today is to stimulate; more believable common sense.

Copyright © September 2008 DeniMari Z.

Additional Notes:
Guess I'm on a kick this week - Life....and people - why is so much of it tunnel vision, taught beliefs, and follow the leader off the broken bridge these days........?????


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-10-03 22:44:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari, I love your thoughts on self discovery. It is a very scary expedition you are on. I'm a very outspoken person/always saying what I know and learn on my soapbox. I find that people feel safe in their tunnel vision. Nothing is a frightening challenge to face whoich makes existence simple and shallow. Because of your life's circumstance you were forced to grow.You could have backed away but you are too intellegent too strong to be frightened off. Good for you. All is not what you think it is, and you may become shocked......but never deter from the quest for knowledge. It will be your power. Your poem is inspirational.......continue...... Dellena Spin me around a few times in wonderland So I can find out who; and where and what I am. [I like this part a lot]


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-09-25 15:26:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Hi Deni...you have some wise questions and statements in this poem. Some people are very vain and never stop to think how their actions might harm someone else. There are those that blindly folllow without ever having a thought of their own but follow just to be part of a group. All this is disheartening and makes us lose faith in the human race. Don't lose faith, dear heart. Life is a full time job and not all in life is false or bad even if it seems that way sometimes. You wrote your feelings very well in this poetic prose poem. I hope things are getting easier and better with each day. Well done. Hugs....M.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-09-19 22:50:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Deni, You go girl; to many follow blinding as sheep or more like autotoms, is seems it is far easier to believe what we want than to believe truth; which today is subjective at best. Keep digging, keep thinking for yourself and maybe the pebble you throw into the pool will keep rippling till more people get it. Well written, could use a bit of smoothing but overall, well done. The occaisional rhyme adds interest and this is definitely one to stir the wheels of thought. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gene Dixon On Date: 2008-09-18 14:12:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari - We're in Wonderland, Alice, and anything can happen so...keep spinning, watch out for walruses and jabberwocks and take a hit on whatever it is the caterpillar is smoking in that hookah! I greatly cognize on your observations and observe that truth is twisted...kind of like a pretzel but.. not as tasty! (just as salty, though!) This hits the mark as an ode to today's mindless minds! Peace Gene
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!