This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-09-25 01:02:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Mother

I packed her things, memories carefully placed in boxes. She held me in her stare. The comfort of this house was gone.  Wind scarred timbers, slanted roof and time weathered boards. I felt the weight of weariness that death of the past brings. My lashes gathered unshed tears. She held me in her stare. The changing of her years bought decrepit bones and disguised love. I can’t snare the wind, untangle birds from their nests, nor can I regain her youth. I offered to cry her tears. She held me in her stare. Wheels on the road, memories in the trunk, clouds slid past  a broken sun. Remnants of a broken heart lay heavy in my chest. Her face never wore a smile. She held me in her stare.

Copyright © September 2008 marilyn terwilleger


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-10-01 11:21:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78571
The memories of our youth, a mother taking care of her family, the good and the bad that always went side by side, yet here you are at the end of yet another road, packing away the memories you held dear growing up. The home no longer the same as the heart of that home is now missing, perhaps never to return in this lifetime, yet.......you know in your heart that she is watching over you and that means alot in so many different ways. It is often sad to have to pack up and store or give away as some often do the many years of life shared between mother/daughter/mother/son, a friend, a father.....whatever the situation it is never easy to do. You have penned your feelings well, the words presented have indeed brought many images to my mind, and memories of my own from 92 years with my mom.....it does sadden me though that memories lay heavy in your heart for those lost smiles you never saw on her face.......thanks for posting this most difficult one......God Bless, Claire


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-09-28 22:15:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, So sad to leave ones home. I can imagine the eyes! There were the days family took care of family. Living together supporting each other. But society changes, and comes the stare. Really heartfelt writing. The stare pretty much says it all. I think a homestead even old has the energy of yesterday in it's bones. Never to go. Always a part of then, always. Good job, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-09-26 10:52:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, This poem has an immediacy that is heightened by your repetition, "[s]he held me in her stare." This poem is simple, universal, and poignant. It shoves off complexity to get to a core experience, ably utilizing simple images and building its poignancy. Their is no air of contrivance, but contriving is there. I once remarked in a critique of one of yours that the poet must attire and attend the function, but that that attire must be so natural and one with the character that the poet becomes the mask. You have brought yourself splendidly to the party my dear. This poem is you, and you have a lot of poetry to offer. A poem that, in my humble estimation, is as strong as any offered this month. It is vying for top billing in my rankings. A grand success. Kudos, MSS
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!