This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-10-13 21:54:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Days of Winter The summer's winds of sweet rejoice
Turned lilting song to bitter's voice
The tender puffing of warm airs
Disappeared and moved elsewhere
A frigid Northern sprays and wheezes
An encounter with the extremities
Winter's touch is beastly bold
Tremor quakes of intrepid cold
Frost, freeze and blizzard's storm
Gone for now is blessing's warm |
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Copyright © October 2008 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-11-02 01:00:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena,
perfect for this time of year...and though the cold isn't as exteme here in my part of india as it is in usa, i too can feel the icy bite set in. Summer is surely long gone. I quite likle winter though...it kind of fits in with my persona....
Your poem did well to draw our attention to winter's onset...the rhyme was good...simple, yet structured in a thought-out manner...
Just noticed 'airs'...would that be air? belssing's warm - blessings warmth? ..bitter's voice - if you are personifying bitter's then it would start with caps --- Bitter's.
Nice use of alliteration - beastly bold.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-10-16 03:22:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.87500
Another image filled poem from your pen.......I hear winter is supposed to be long and very cold this year....there is a nice easy flowing rhyme to your words and one can feel the boldness of the season as it approaches. I've been told we could see snow flakes this weekend but I do believe that was just to frighten me....well, it worked.......hope you are warm my friend and as always I look forward to your work......God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-10-15 02:53:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.20000
Yes, I like that a lot better, Dellena. Traditions sometimes die hard, especially
when so many men and women of letters have written well in structured verse. But the
scene has changed and formalism loses many today who are more inclined towards electronic
media. There the imagery has such visual delivery the poet can only compete with startling
imagery hardly accomplishable in formal verse.
More than ever poetry without power strikes readers as tepid. Add formal structure and it
seems stilted, almost comic.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-10-14 16:29:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi D...this is an excellent poem and one I really like as it deals with nature and I write so often about that. Written in rhyming couples without punctuation (with the exception of one comma) works very well here. You did a good job of letting your line breaks work for you. A lovely and evocative poem.....M.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-10-14 12:20:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena,
Not sure what the word was that you needed to change but wanted to let you know that this lilting easy read leaves images of winter as crisp as your write. Thank you for the opportunity to read your poem again and let you know how enjoyable it was.
Best Lora
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