This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-11-02 02:03:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Hu-Man

Light........... The shooting star over the sun, Which shines from East to West. Yet few have eyes to see it's best. Unable to follow the parade of one drummer, On a quest for inner peace. While living less tangled To tame the angry beast. One action, or livid expression so profound, Can make them heard without hearing a sound. I wish they could open up a portal Of perception in harmony without contempt. Frustration, vengence they need to vent. Enclose themselves and try to hide Real emotions as they roll their eyes; Over heads they need to despise. Tranquilty should rain a downpour Instill this solution from shore to shore. Dearly sending this message to many And open this pending door.

Copyright © November 2008 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-12-04 23:41:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Poet....so nice to always find your work posted here......much food for thought within the lines of this read......going on my list for the month for sure. God Bless, Claire


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-11-29 21:51:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Deni, Good to see you continue to post. I like the deep philosohphical current that runs through this. Technically, it is good to see you use slant rhyme - peace/beast, contempt/vent, hide/eyes/despise...you might consider using this sort of scheme in verse one as west/best sounds a little forced. Thank you for this read as I prepare to begin my day...there is much food for thought here. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-11-25 06:37:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Deni, I gotta tell you, I read this twice. You're amazing! Love your format, wording and your ending is the greatest finale. Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-11-24 10:10:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
DeniMari, You're poems command the top of my "new poems to critique' list. I reached down to register my thoughts on your last, which wasn't at the top of my list. But it still provided me with 4 critiquer points, so I picked that one, that notable one, first. This one reveals the turmoil in your soul that fed that notable effort. Turmoil is the human lot. Turing out real poetry, alas, is not - though poetry potential is also the human lot. I like your grapple, and your noble attempts to produce poetry out of it. Keep this up. MSS
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!