This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2008-11-18 11:33:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Overlooked The Pink Elephant
sat cramped in the corner
Slouched down
Head scraping the ceiling
He’d been wedged
there
Stuck for decades
no one admitting
Wearily dozing off
he dreamed
of when the children were young
and he was just small
But they grew
and so did he
Though he did not graduate
No one took his photo
He just grew
and waited, still ignored
Slouching against a bookcase
he sighed, resenting the knowledge
He had become a monster
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Copyright © November 2008 Kenneth R. Patton
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-12-05 16:55:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I am sure there is a double meaning to the pink elephant for as a child he usually brought a smile to our face and perhaps a touch of joy to our hearts. Yet, he is also referred to perhaps as a monster when we grow up and our situations change. Still, your pen has presented a good reference to both the good and the bad. Just remember he was not always a monster and he can become a friend again.......just my take on it all.
God has blessed you in so many ways.......Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-11-27 22:01:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Kenneth,
This poem is a reflective one. Indeed, childhood slips away no sooner than it arrives...the Pink Elephant's playmates (kids) have outgrown the toy in spirit and though it too has aged..it is still essentially a toy- caged in the reality of its uselessness. I like the paralell between the ageing child and the ageing elephant. And while it is bound to bring backhappy memories of play to the now grown kids who cast it a glance, it cannot bring back the reality of the moment and make it happen all over...literally.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-11-25 06:41:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Kenneth,
This is different than what you usually write. At first I was imagining a real elephant locked in a zoo but the more I read, I took this as to be an out of place child. I may be wrong in my thinking but that is how I read it!
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-11-20 17:07:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Kenneth,
Oh my a monster!
I believe he was like a fixture. Always seen but never acknowledged.
Appreciated for being there, a strength of sorts.
But if he didn't want notice, he became unnoticeable.
at any time he could have shown more and won others over.
But for some reason he didn't care enough to show himself.
As one matures the view changes and until he dies it will not be too late.
Sharing ideas, sharing yourself, sharing highs and lows is your gift to another.
Start gifting the others. You'll all be the richer.
Boo!
dellena
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