This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-12-22 08:29:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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You Say You're Spiritual?!! You gaze upon a face
a child's blooming blossom
Of sunburst enthusiasm
You continue about what
you didn't get
young like that, hidden
from shame, yet unpracticed
in blame.
Seeing nothing but what you
can in others name
As you, the same.
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Copyright © December 2008 James C. Horak
Additional Notes:
Ever just want to tear the hell out of syntax looking for new meanings?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-12-31 23:34:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James,
Happy new year.....
The child's faces are so pure.
We can't be anything as innocent nor honestly innocent.
The eyes tell it all.
We can't step back, even if we try.
And so it goes. I pray for peace and love.
A would be activist...
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-12-31 12:35:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
James, LOL, I am sorry but your additional notes made me chuckle a bit and the answer is YES, (and I looked up the word syntax so I understood the full meaning.) Your words make sense and ring so true. You have the musical way of making any of your poetry sing even in a tongue lashing! I love it!
Always,
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-12-27 22:05:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello James; your title grabbed me more then once.......brought out many memories of not only this season but other times when indeed being spiritual was so present in our heart....yet.....in all honesty it is hoped it lasted the rest of the year as well as into the New Year too.......then there was that little girl down the lane, sweet as apple pie and always in church on Sunday morning......her list of what she received just overflowed.....and I can see my head bobbing back and forth with a smile knowing she needed to talk.....So that my friend is where I ended up with this one......good penning. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2008-12-26 10:47:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, may I say that there is also “fun†in the world- and in that vein runs the life of the soul. I wondered, in reading this, (all syntax aside), that the “child†metaphor for innocence might actually betray the genetic deterioration from the fall. But that also aside- I will table the point because as far as “spiritual†goes- one does get better or worse (usually) dependent on social interactions.
I like it. I have, second time around, raised a son who believes in truth- with and without spiritual foundation. If he turns out idiotic- place the blame on me; I think- and that is about as “soulish†as I will go.
Enjoyed the lightiness of the piece (although I think you purposely hid a greater insinuation).
.... and no- it is very difficult for me to loose the syntax monster- I may try but knowing me, even after writing it that way, in some future edit, i'll probably forget and rewrite it into it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-12-22 12:14:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH,
Keep tearing. Form becoming a vehicle for meaning, living, sinuous. This type of play is close to the heart of your genius, I think.
I bring you kudos,
MSS
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