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This Poem was Submitted By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2009-01-23 11:06:15 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Rachel's Marriage

Five foot ten blonde with blue orbs twenty and six German and Irish Erect posture deliberate of movement gracious and forthright open and friendly countenance. Smiling with crisp porcelain enamels sure of herself and comfortable in the lace which shrouds her. Extending her hand to accept the gold ring offered as a symbol of undying love and fidelity. She accepts the symbol and returns the favor similarly lustrous, metallic and indestructible. Yet, to those who know her; the gold pales in comparison to her ethereal translucent beauty, and the metal is weaker than her resolve. I am not the only one who witnesses the physics of this union her regal head nods approval to all as she commits herself to her man. He is the dominative victor, humbly taking possession, Together they walk on facing the world, insurmountable, inseparable; a human bridge, which cannot be eroded or compromised, fashioned by two artisans in a filigree of sensibilities more intricate than watch works and more permanent than marble. Gerard A. Geiger (FOB) January 21, 2009

Additional Notes:
FOB....Father of the Bride, for those uninitiated few.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-01-26 08:35:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Congratulations to the Father of the Bride for sharing these beautiful images of your daughter and new son in law's very special day. One can hear the pride you hold for this very loving couple and I am certain they will treasure this forever. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-01-24 06:59:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Gerard, I could find no nit with this, simplicity exuding such elegance, I truly enjoyed this poem and the visions you've imparted with discriptive verbiage. Would I if I could, pick a favorite line it possibly might be yourfinal stanza, it wraps your poem in a shroud of it's own which is indistructable. Simply wonderful and a delight to read. Thank you for the post. Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-01-23 16:36:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mr. Geiger, it's good to see you've returned. And presented us with a poem that touches what must clearly be close to your heart. You have both richness in thought and a way with obtaining internal rhyme, assonance and interesting variations on both like the way, in lines 6 and 7, "gracious" plays with "countenance". Using the four line verse, however, is not your forte, and is unnecessary. Employed as free verse this poem could soar. You might feel less constrained to direct sentences and keep to the more interesting poetic devices of which you begin. I'm injecting these points to help you add to a very special poem, a way to help make its quality more in keeping with its personal value to you. There are so many devices at your disposal to SHOW these direct statements in the vision of illusion, metaphor, euphemism, simile, and what I call parallelism. Don't just stop at the occasional simile, the occasional illusion. Elevate this whole poem to the level its theme is valued by you, giving it a texture of its own, an unforgetable one. Most of all, bring yourself more into it. Yours is a privilaged perspective, share it with us. And make that footnote pointless.

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